Undiagnosed Hi - Emotional Abuse By Parents

[forestfox]

Hi everyone *waves*

I haven't been diagnosed with PTSD (still need to go to doctor) - but I feel pretty strongly that I have the signs and symptoms. I typically have emotional flashbacks I think all the time - I'm always on edge, scared, and spend most of my time in my room alone because it is safe, blocking everything out with tv. I also have depression.

My mother was and is very emotionally abusive, although often covertly, and my father and brother would join in too. I think she has Narcassistic Personality Disorder. I've blanked out about 95% of my childhood, (until age 13) so I just try and piece together what has happened to me from the few memories I do have, what she does now and my issues.

I remember my childhood being very lonely and confusing, and I still feel like that, as well as empty.

 

[Ice_Fire]

Hi Forest Fox (cool name by the way)

You seem to be aware that you need to see a doctor about how you feel. I can't stress that enough,so I hope you seek good, professional medical help as soon as you can.

This forum is a wonderful place to interact with others who feel similarly and is a brilliant place to find support.

(((hugs))) ice

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Hi and welcome to the forum. It is nice to meet you. You are not alone.

 

[forestfox]

Hi guys, thanks! :)

Yes, I should get to a doctor really. I get anxious about going though, I always think they are going to brush me off or make fun of me, or I'm going to make an idiot of myself somehow. I'm building up to it, hopefully soon!

 

[Sues]

Welcome Forestfox! I'm glad you're here.

Those feelings you are having are normal. I feel them all the time. This forum is a great place and very supportive. There's an area on therapy as well. You might want to go there and take a look or post questions.

 

[Philippa]

Hi Forest Fox.

I did the same thing for years, holing up in my room. I still do to a degree, but I'm much more out and about these days, so it does improve. Just do what you need to stay safe.

And welcome.

 

[forestfox]

Thanks sues - will go have a look now!

Thanks Philippa (is that your cat? so cute! :) ) - good to hear things can get better.

 

[Tanishq]

Hi forestfox, Welcome to the forum and this forum is very helpful place to get help.

You're not alone and I hope you see doctor/therapist and start receiving proper treatment.

I want you to know whatever your emotionally abusive parents/brother say or do, know they are their issues. not yours. You're fine person trying to make good efforts. Are you still staying with them?

Here is a hug for you. :hug:

 

[JustBe]

Hi and Welcome :)

 

[Ice_Fire]

I get anxious about going though, I always think they are going to brush me off or make fun of me, or I'm going to make an idiot of myself somehow.

These feelings are understandable. Heck, I felt that for a long time before I plucked up the courage and it did take me a while before I could tell my GP enough for her to realise it was trauma- related issues. She thought I was just depressed at first. It's hard to be so open.

Good luck with it.

 

[rightkindofme]

It is really hard seeing a doctor. I don't really trust doctors. Good luck finding someone to work with.

 

[Chrissyy]

Hey, welcome to the forum!

Would it help if you wrote down what you wanted to say before going to the doctor? Sometimes it helps me to get my thoughts straight and not forget anything because I get nervous when I'm there