Sufferer Hi - Looking For Others Views

[Sazzarooo]

Hi there

I've signed up for this forum because I am hoping to gain something I don't have already.

I was drugged, raped, made pregnant and left for dead 12 years ago and have recovered well, using empathy to remove much, working hard to de-energise triggers - and boxing the shittiest memories far out of reach.

Now my son's partner (who has not liked me for many years due to my fragilities and her militant manner, wants to move to the area that it happened.

This has triggered awful reactions on all levels. I thought I had won through - but I cannot see how I can ever go back there.

That's why I signed up - to see what others are saying who do understand.

All love
Saz

 

[safenow]

HI Saz,

Welcome to the PTSD forum. I am so sorry for what evil people did to you. Bless your heart. I do know how hard it is to get past that type of experience. I hope you had a good therapist to help you process what happened. Back when that happened to me my therapist only put me on sleeping pills. But since they came in the middle of the night and did that to me, I refused to take them.

I"m sorry they want to move to the area where it happened. I don't recommend that at all. At least not until you have worked that place out of your triggers in therapy. Going back to where bad things happen is of course a major trigger. Bless your heart.

You will find some wonderful people here. Very kind, knowledgeable, and very very supportive. There is also some great information that can help on many levels.

Be kind to yourself. Have you told your son why you don't want to go back there?

 

[Only 1 of me]

My therapist uses the metaphor of a mountain with me which helps me and you may relate to it. Imagine a tall conical mountain with a trail which winds in circles around it all the way to the top. As you walk the trail you keep thinking you are not getting anywhere because you see views that you've seen before. But it's not the same, you are looking at the same stuff but from a different place, you have not stopped journeying. This helps me when I feel I'm going through the same things over and over to understand that I am making progress. This was a long response only intended to say welcome, I'm also new here but already learning so much.

 

[safenow]

the metaphor of a mountain with me which helps me and you may relate to it.

Yes, that is a very good one. Thank you for sharing.

 

[Sazzarooo]

Thank you.

The thing is - I KNOW what's up.

I don't want to go back there ever again and I can't believe that I am being put in this position.

 

[Sazzarooo]

Yes, I have told my son and he said that he would wait a year - give me time and maybe not even go at all.

But his girlfriend who met me shortly after I was raped and therefore didn't know me prior to the event, says she will go and take the children with her anyway. This has put my son into a horrid position and now my father (who crested the abuse dynamic in the first place) is encouraging my son to ignore me and to go anyway.

 

[safenow]

now my father (who crested the abuse dynamic in the first place) is encouraging my son to ignore me and to go anyway.

What a horrible position to put your son in. Shame on them both. She is using the children to trap him into doing this her way. I am so sorry to hear that. Bless your heart.

 

[KP the nut]

Hi and welcome to the forum.

I have great sympathy with your situation. But can I ask why they feel the need to move to that area?

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome to the forum. :)

 

[Pinkcake]

I hope this does not sound insensitive because I truly don't mean for it to, but, why does your son moving mean you have to move to? Are you reliant on him for support?

 

[intothelight]

Welcome to the PTSD Forum! :)

 

[Whitneys story]

Hi Saz, Welcome to the PTSD Forum. What a difficult position to be in. I am glad you are considering your own needs first.

Do you have a therapist, who has diagnosed you? The reason I ask is your comment about putting the sh***est stuff far away in a box.

I know you say you have it in check. I personally have never read of a case where this was successful. I would not think you would be having triggers if you have fully processed all the horrific trauma.

Even if you have that would be last place anyone should expect you to live in. On the home page are some great articles that I hope will give you some insight to fully explaining to your son and his partner how toxic the expectations of you are.

You are safe here and no one judges. Don't let them back you into a corner. Their behavior is selfish.

I wish you success on your journey. Whitney