Relationship Hi, update and has anyone tried anything that has got them positive results?

[Sunshine71]

Dear forum friends

Its been ages since I have been on here and I do hope that despite what we all have in common you are well.

Hubbie moved out in Feb to stay with a friend..... he has been coming back from time to time but after 28 years of being together he still isn't now able to hold my hand and sleeps in the spare room. It wasn't a split but just to have some space.

Last night was terrible - he woke me out with his moaning out aloud.

He says he just wants to die and is exhausted dealing with PTSD - its been about 11 years full on now.

He has tried CBT - didn't work at all.
He has even seen a practitioner who has trained with Paul McKenna and it didn't help at all.
Has anyone tried anything that has got them positive results?
Finding work has been a great help - he loves what he does but he finds it very hard to find work - it has to really find him.

If you know of anything that we can try that may be a bit obscure or different to the norm please do let me know.

So tired.... so many things on the go right now.... just exhausted.... :(

With love amazing people.

Sunshine xx

 

[Sweetpea76]

Has he tried EMDR? Some people seem to love it, some seem to hate it. I've been gently nudging mine to try it because whatever the VA was doing for a half hour once a month wasn't helping.

As far as obscure or out of the norm things, my vet found acupuncture oddly calming. He thought it was bunk until he tried it. The VA doc actually recommended it for pain, but it had the side effect of helping his anxiety.

 

[Sunshine71]

Thanks Sweetpea.... he had had someone saying they were doing EMDR and they moved their finger in his face - we are in the UK and this was on the NHS - I fear he is now too ill for treatment..... I am heartbroken x

 

[Sighs]

The EM in EMDR stands for Eye Movement. The therapist uses their finger to direct the patient's eyes during the therapy session.

 

[Sunshine71]

I have heard of following lights sighs.... this just sounded better to me for some reason....?

 

[Snowflakes]

@Sunshine71 I don't have any suggestions for you but I do want you to know that I empathize with you and will follow this thread. Over the last 10 years I have learned the only person I can help is me. I too am heartbroken but I do have a good therapist that is helping me heal.

I wish both you and your husband well. Take care of you.

Hugs, if appropriate, for you :hug:

 

[Sunshine71]

Thank you @Snowflakes.... I do wish you lots of love and healing vibes too..... hubbie is just wiped out..... he feels he has tried everything.... and it must be exhausting ... he has just been given a prescription for respiridone - but the side effects sound terrible.... I am hoping he will try EMDR as he tried it a few years ago but never gave it a chance.

Thank you so much Sunshine xx

 

[EveHarrington]

Side effects can indeed be terrible. I take an antipsychotic (like risperidone) and the only side effect is grogginess. (It could be a LOT worse.) It's best to not think of treatment in isolation. EMDR can help in ways that drugs can't and vice Versa.