High School Bf Finds Me On Facebook

[KwanYingirl]

i was very surprised to be invited to the prom by Bob. I was very closed off my whole youth. We both belonged to our church's youth group. I agreed to go to the prom at which point he asked me out on dates. It was my first experience with a boyfriend and I was terrified to be alone with him. He liked to go parking and I would participate but then go home and throw up. He was and still is an artist. Very calm and kind and as usual I pushed him away.

He friended me on Facebook and I sent him a private message to apologize for how avoidant I was towards him. I was glad to have the opportunity to apologize. I told him I was a survivor of molestation-just couldn't write the word rape.

Anyway, it was a good feeling to explain my behavior. Our colleges were next to each other. He was in Art school and according to his profile he is a glassblower. I used to visit him in the pottery studio.

I drove away wonderful men. Talented, kind people and ended up marrying an asshole who treated me like shit. PTSD sucks.

 

[WildMermaid]

PTSD sucks. *nods* Please, don't beat yourself up for the would've's, could've's, and should've's in truth we never know where those would have led either. You made a new connection with an old friend. That's pretty cool I think.

 

[shimmerz]

At this point you can do anything better that you like with this relationship with your ex boyfriend. Can you focus on that Kwan?

 

[KwanYingirl]

Yes @shimmerz glad to have the opportunity to speak my truth.

 

[shimmerz]

and ended up marrying an asshole who treated me like shit

This really touched my heart. This was me too. Except I had several assholes. I just didn't learn.

 

[KwanYingirl]

Me too. Totally never thought I deserved better. But things have changed and I stand up for myself now. A loooong row to hoe.

 

[shimmerz]

Totally never thought I deserved better.

Yes, and what really screws with my head is that I didn't even realize that.

 

[Tinyflame]

I never came to the conclusion I deserved better but I did come to the conclusion I didn't want the lousy ones in my life, & was thankful to God I didn't marry them.

In my heart I don't know if I can believe good ones exist, or that trust will not fail.

 

[WildMermaid]

Good ones do exist, nobody is perfect, we're flawed creatures, but they are out there. :)

 

[Hooper]

Do you have children? If not I would drop him. Life's too short to spend it with an asshole. I know some great girls that married them and I never got why. I agree with Wildmermaid that nobody is perfect. I told my wife on the front end that I was a package deal but it has worked out well.