Holiday Anxieties With T Going On Vacation

[cynicalangel]

Hi everyone. I'm wondering if it's "normal" to be feeling anxious at the thought of my T taking extra time off around Christmas.

I've been in therapy for a little over 4 years. 3 of those years was with a T who was manipulative, untrustworthy and just downright mean, but she was my first T and I honestly did not know any better. When she took time off, I didn't get anxious. Same with the second T I worked with for a few months. BUT...now I'm with someone who is truly helping me, someone I look forward to seeing. She recently told me that she is going to take extra time off at Christmas and all of a sudden I find myself starting to panic when I think about it. I'm honestly glad she is taking the time, she really needs it, but this is just a terrible time of year for me (anniversaries, etc.). Is this a "normal" reaction?

Thanks everyone.

 

[ms spock]

Oh gosh yes! I used to so feel terrified when my T went away for holidays!

Really be kind to yourself around this - and talk about it with your T as well. Let her know how you feel. Together you can work out some ways to keep yourself safe and for you to feel reassured that she is coming back.

 

[Justmehere]

Normal is a term that is only really useful as a setting on a washing machine.

What you are experiencing is a very common feeling many clients face when working with great therapists that go on vacation. Most therapists actually expect that some of their clients will be a bit distressed about a vacation. There are chapters in therapy textbooks that discuss what a therapist can do to help a client to handle and reduce that distress. It's THAT common.

It's a sign you are doing good work together.

I am glad my therapist gets a vacation, but I feel much the same.

I'd suggest telling your therapist you are struggling with the upcoming vacation a bit and they may be able to talk with you about things that can be done to make it go more smoothly.

 

[sun seeker]

Is this a "normal" reaction?

Oh yes. Either that, or I'll be "abnormal" right along with you. It can be hard. Lean on us in the meantime.

 

[qwyoey]

You have a few weeks before break. Can your T help you establish coping plans for their vacation? Its very very normal to have your anxiety about their absence

 

[cynicalangel]

Thank you all very much! She does know about how I am feeling. She has told me I can email/call/text as much as I need to (which are always allowed anyway), but we both know I won't. I hardly ever reach out.

Thank you all for making me feel like I am not alone!

 

[FauxLiz]

I am every bit as abnormal as you are. Last year for the holidays my T took a 2 week vacation it was terrible for me as the time between Christmas and New Year's is always bad for me.

I really hope that your T gives you more to help work through the time than just call/email/text as much as you need because sometimes we find ourselves so quickly to a point that we can't manage those things and need other choices/resources.

 

[amosmorris]

Yep. We already have started talking about it because for me it's like being dropped in some kind of black void....freaks me out, panic, total brain fog....really hard. I've been working with this T 1.5 yrs now and it's intensified as I think I've gotten more attached. Hurts like hell. I am so grateful that here on this board I can recognize these aspects of myself....it's a comfort to me and I hope to you too.