Sufferer Homicide survivor

[Eva]

Sometimes my PTSD makes me question my own sanity. I suppose what I take away from the trauma and nightmares is that maybe my pain isn't something to be rid of? It simply just lives with me now.

I turned my life around, but the agony lives inside of me. I made alot of poor choices growing up and since the murders in 2014, I've never worked harder to move away from such a destructive lifestyle. I am 35 years old now.

In 2014, a man came into my home at 4am with a loaded gun. He pulled the trigger 5 times. 3 of us were shot...and somehow I lived. :(

I found my way to this forum because I just woke up from yet another nightmare and I was researching body parts?

Makes no sense, I know...but its my truth.

 

[SeanCharles]

Welcome! And Thank you for sharing! We all have a story that is unique and different, while our circumstances may be different, we all share similiar pains. So glad you're alive and survived such a horrific event, but glad you found the site. May you find answers and fellowship on your journey here at myPTSD!

 

[mumstheword]

What an insane thing to survive! That's horrific! I hope you find some relief and comfort here.
My guy has survived a couple of bad murder attempts too.
I hope you feel welcome and continue to share more about yourself. This is an amazing site full of incredible survivors like yourself, but we all have such unique hells that we are coming to terms with.

 

[MrMoonlight]

I'm thankful you woke early to discover an entire community of people who have also walked through the fire. It's lonely to spend years years of your life without this connection. What you survived is unthinkable and you don't deserve the suffering.

I have come to some peace with pain. I've had it since my trauma and don't expect it to fade. Though learning of somatization and conversion disorder gives me hope. After finding this site I got diagnosed by Psychiatrist and am going to my 2nd therapy appointment this sat. BTW have you seen anyone? I'm just starting to learn about PTSD so it's useful to know what was/is helpful to others.

Anyway welcome home, wishing you peace..

 

[Joan]

Welcome. So sorry for what you have lived through. So glad that you found this community in your search and I hope that you find support here.

 

[LuckiLee]

Thank you for sharing your story. That's very courageous. You've found a very supportive community. There is a wealth of information here. Welcome to the forum.

So very sorry for your loss!

XO

 

[EveHarrington]

Welcome Eva

Hugs

 

[Mel]

Sometimes my PTSD makes me question my own sanity. I suppose what I take away from the trauma and nightmar...

Omg...so sorry...hope you are seeking help...blessings to you...

 

[Freida]

wow. Just. wow. glad you are here!!!

 

[RussellSue]

Oh Eva,
I am so sorry for this horrible trauma though I know it can be no consolation. For whatever it is worth, I often observe that it is my measurement of what's between here and "normal" that gets me most depressed. When I try to take small steps always and take note of those little successes in light of what might have become of me considering my trauma, I am able to move forward more easily. I realize after decades of what I assume is c-PTSD that I probably won't recover, but I almost always sleep well, and even just in the recent years things have steadily improved. I think they can improve for everyone. I cling to the hope that I am still here because there is someone out there who will relate to me specifically, and need my help. It's not a lot, but it's gotten me through some hard times.
Take care of yourself.