Poll How Are Your Friendships?

[Orglethorp]

I make acquaintances easily, but I find it very difficult to truly make close friends, or to recognize when I've got to that point with someone. At the end of the day, no matter how much others might see that I have a close circle of caring friends, I never feel that I do. I always question the quality/sincerity of my friendships.

 

[MagiLisu]

I don't want to bring anybody else down because of this either.

This is another thing, I hate opening up to people (even on here to some extent, not as much though) because I feel like I am constantly moaning and I have become an instant burden. I hate the question "how are you?" because a lot of the time I am not ok but don't feel able to say that because people expect you to reply "fine, you?". If you say anything else you can see their face drop.

 

[Changing4Best]

It takes so much effort for me to open up and talk to people, and I just feel like I am always the odd one out who never has anything in common with people.

One place I have made friends is in a group setting such as a 12-step group (they have them for all kinds of things, you can find one that goes along with some habit or other of yours if you really look!).

My best friend and I met in Therapy Group. We just gravitated to one another and found so much that we had in common that we clicked right away. It was a natural attraction. When one opens up in a group to others, just like everyone else there is doing (you take a few weeks to get the feel of the group before speaking up) one finds common ground with at least one other person. You can chat and get friendly in many ways with that person. Ask to car pool there, or offer to take them out to coffee or a soda afterwards.

Another group setting that can net you friends is a nature lovers group. On hikes you have a partner if you like. Walking together you talk about all kinds of things, especially just pointing out a pretty wildflower here or a rock or bird there. Also, some cities have a nature walk where you can just meet strangers and chat that way. The Park Ranger is a good one to chat with too. Be curious, ask questions, etc.

The more people you meet, the better chance of one of them becoming a friend. Even if you don't feel like speaking up, or starting up a conversation, others very well may draw you out and want to become friends with you. Try it, you'll like it.

 

[cookinggal]

Most of my friends left when the Incident happened, however my friend from a long time ago and my boyfriend stayed with me and now Ive met new friends since I was in school.

 

[MomOfTwo]

I have several really good friends. I would say I make friends easily but take a long time to trust. I am the friend that can be counted on. My husband told me that despite the crappy family I have that I am blessed with great friends. He is right about that. My one friend from College is always there for me and so is her family. I have created my own 'family' from friends that completely respect me. Most of my friends would say I am shy and reserved. I have many long term friendships as well.

I was on bedrest in the hospital for months so I developed friendships with other women going through the same thing. Most of my friends are not aware of the trauma I have been through. I recently shared with my College friend some of it. She was blown away. I myself have contained most of my trauma's neatly in packages and never dealt with them. I think that was a key to some of the successes in my life. Containing things. I am not so good at containing things anymore.

 

[Changing4Best]

I just gained one of my neighbors as a friend. I was invited up for refreshments and we had a nice chat. It is good to have friends closeby. I have 2 folks now that have invited me in where I live. It is a good feeling, I am not so lonely now.

 

[Changing4Best]

The friend who inspired this poll, has gone through one of those rocky episodes with me once again. Finally we are through the end of that disagreement and basically without saying so have decided to agree to disagree and move on to other things. So, she invited me to go out walking today. This is something we both need to do badly, so it is just in time to rescue us from the despair of yet another period of awkward silence.

More than ever, I need to get out of this house! For anyone to offer to take me out of here by any pretence is greatly appreciated, as I spend my days alone, lonely, depressed and feeling it all is hopeless and will never change... WELL! It now has changed. If only I could hold on to this moment and remember it next time we go through one of our spats. I cried tears of relief when she called me just now.

 

[Graven Idol]

I am very close to friends I've known for a while, since high school. In regards to friendship making -- I am very leery of it, more than I used to be. I don't trust people; I've dealt with too many ignorant people and it really turns me off from socializing. And especially of the online variety, I really don't vest in it. And I'm really happy with the number of friends I have.

 

[nomedic1]

??????????? what friendships.

 

[Jlso111187]

I have a few close friends outside my family, other than that I quit trying to make friends as I always seem to push people away. It hurts me more than helps so I just don't even bother anymore.

 

[Changing4Best]

It hurts me more than helps so I just don't even bother anymore.

Hi friend, we haven't talked much lately, it is good to see you here. I hope I am not one who has hurt you! I've been dealing with all these serious medical problems that are not now as serious as I thught, so sorry if I have been out of touch! Sometimes life is just too much for me and I clam up. I hope you understand.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I said none.... But I'm so damn guarded. I tell myself that I don't want friends as they'll just leave me when they find out the truth. I tell myself that I don't have any friends because the people who consider me a friend will leave me when they find out the truth. Blah.