How Can I Get Angry Again?

[Red Feather]

Well, what I mean here with "getting angry," doesn't mean losing control and screaming at somebody. (Which is what my mother does and did all my life.) Actually what I mean is more like self-empowerment, focus, and conviction. Or rather channeled anger.

For example I've always wanted to be able to rap, but I just know that I could not tap into that energy, because it somehow requires power and maybe even some anger.

Lately I have been working on my music, and got blocked again when it came to writing the lyrics. I am so sick and tired of being blocked. I am so tired of feeling the panic rise, just because I want to work on my music. I am so sick and tired of all these symptoms. I want to get my life back.

And so today I realized that I was angry. I'm f#### angry that I have to live with this illness. I could be angry at my ex or at my mother, but I am not angry at anybody. I'm just f#### angry. I want to be able to formulate it in words, but it's like my throat is cut off. How can I work through the fear in order to get there?

So I've seen and become aware that this is actually anger, which has been ongoingly being turned into depression and suicide thoughts. If I am so used to being angry at myself, how can I ever develop the muscle to be angry at others. Is it possible? Any tips? Maybe I should start kickboxing. :ninja: :ninja: :ninja:

My muscles are just not strong enough... literally. And I might anemic so that makes it even worse. Any tips would be really appreciated.

 

[Candleflames]

I've been dealing with this same issue. I wish I had some words of wisdom for us but I don't. I'm going to have to watch this thread so I can glean some insight with you.

 

[LizardViolet]

Supporter here, not speaking from experience, but it seems to me that like anything else you haven't done before, perhaps you should start with baby steps.

Say the words out loud: I am angry. Write them down. Name one or two things that you're angry about. Write those down: I am angry that x, y and z.

Do it a few times a day.

As your angry muscle gets exercised, put it to work. Try writing a note to the universe about something you're angry about. Read it out loud.

Try writing a note to a specific person you're angry at, or to a business or company or government entity that has affected your life negatively. Read that out loud.

One step at a time.

All that stuff seems like 101. Level 201 might be being assertive in a situation. That might even be 301. For that one, practice a lot. Write yourself a script. For your first assertive experience, pick something low-stakes, like an interaction with a server at a restaurant or some other situation where the other person is there to help you and you don't have an ongoing relationship, and all you're asking for is what any customer should expect.

If you're anemic, also, do what you need to do to get healthier: iron supplements, orange juice (vitamin C with iron helps absorption), molasses (or treacle if you're in the UK), spinach, meat (if you're not a vegetarian). Dr. Google will tell you about iron-rich foods.

A quick search on Amazon turned up half a dozen how-to books about being assertive. I bet they'd have lots of good suggestions too.