How Could They Do This??

[J_trustno1]

I know i've had some good days this week and tonight i am crying again. I might seem abnormal to a lot of you here. But the only question I have while I am crying is that how could a father strangle his 10 yr old daughter when she just said something silly? How your mother's sister's husband molest a 9 yr old child? How could your mother's asshole brother force a 12 yr old child into child labor at working at his restaurant + humiliate + alienate her? How could your mother's sister be so cold to that child beat her, force her into that labor, still be married to the pedo that molested this child, humiliate, verbally and emotionally abuse that child?

How can people be like this? I am writing this as i am crying and I hope you guy understand what i am saying. It just hurts a lot deep down there.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

I understand. And I am not sure there are satisfying answers to your heartbreaking questions. I haven't reached that stage in my process yet. I am still in denial that it was me who was abused. Nonetheless, I often cry over news reports of horrible things happening to kids. And I ask those same questions- how could...? Please know that your cries are heard now.

 

[J_trustno1]

@JEKBreatheandBelieve : Thanks. Whenever I watch something similar on tv or hear new about child abuse, it breaks my heart, i feel what they are going through :(. No child should be abused :(.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

No child should be abused

Amen to that. I imagine that there's a part of me that feels what the children in the news are going through, too, I just don't realize it yet. I hope you can find ways to comfort yourself today.

 

[Deleted member 20280]

Jess. Remember one thing please, you were a survior though all that you were subjected to.

There is no one answer to the queations 'how or why' with abuse.

You were a survivor then and are surviving still.

Please be gentle on yourself and remember our long conversation last night and believe that all I said, I really did mean.

:hug:

Laurie

 

[J_trustno1]

@Santa_Laurie : Thanks a lot, yes you are very right about everything you've said. It's just I was too upset at that time, i felt my life was over and there was nothing good going to happen but i can't let it take over my life. Thanks for the support like you have always have given to me :) :hug:s

 

[Ghostybear73]

I think it is the how's and the why's that are the most hurtful. once you start processing the trauma and putting the puzzle pieces of your past together, it is natural to start asking those questions. The problem is; unless you're like them, you will never be able to answer those questions.

As a disclaimer, I'm not the greatest advice giver, I was sold for (pimped out) for 4 years as the start of my life, 9 years old, and I kept getting into abusive situation until about 10 years ago where I finally feel safe and don't have to look over my shoulder. Been in therapy for 3 years and still don't show emotion.

I hear it is very healing to be able to cry and get some things released, so at least know this: You are healing!!

:)

 

[J_trustno1]

@Ghostybear73 : I'm sorry to hear about your abuse :(. Thanks for giving me a supportive answer. So you feel that i am healing? How come I don't see that part? I feel that i am dwelling a lot..

 

[Ghostybear73]

Yeah, it sounds to me like you are, although I'm no therapist. I know I have been told many times that I am getting better and I look at him like he grew horns. I sometimes feel like we are the last to see the healing in the beginning.

Asking questions, feeling emotions and being on here getting the little extra help an support is definitely a sign of moving in the right direction. You may not see it, but you are on the right path and from reading your other posts, you appear to be taking steps (even tiny ones) in the direction of healing!

 

[Deleted member 1860]

You dwell a lot. Have you discussed the possibility of ocd with your doctors? Almost all of your posts involve one obsession or another.

 

[littlelostchild]

Oh, I'm sorry Jess. I don't know the answers to any of the questions, but I want you to know that I am thinking of you and how much you have been through. You are a strong, wonderful woman who deserves respect and a good life.

Keep moving forward. You are a survivor.

 

[CMBMUA]

@J_trustno1 thank you for sharing your story. I too was abused, choked and beaten to be specific.Im pretty sure I was sexually abused but I think I have blocked those memories. Im new to this forum and find that just sharing is part of the healing process. I feel like I dwell and cry a lot too, but I also remember the days that i wouldnt event think about the past. I guess we all have to start somewhere. Just know that you are not alone and it is not our fault that we were abused. To answer the question as to why people abuse children, they are clearly sick and may have been abused too. Cheers to healing!