How Do I Cope With Intrusive Memories That Aren't Specific To Any Trauma?

[Jazzy]

Hi,

I just found this forum. My name is Jessica or Jazzy as everyone calls me. I'm 25 years old,diagnosed with PTSD,MDD and ADHD.

I have very intrusive thoughts and everything feels unreal. I can normally snap out of it after a few hours but this time it's been going on for 3 days. I tried reaching my therapist. I can sleep because I take medication but I feel like I'm trapped in a trippy dream. I have a flood of trivial memories from my childhood but none that are related to a particular trauma or bad thing that happened. They're random events and conversations and even good memories but when I have them I "zone" out and can't focus on the present. I stare off somewhere and I get trapped in them. I tried to make sense of them but they are simply so fragmented that I can't.

I've been distant with my husband lately and I need to come back to reality here but I don't know how.

Can anyone help me? It's really bad and I could use some advice right now please.

Thanks, Jazz.

 

[Abstract]

Hi Jazzy. Welcome here. I hope you get lots of support and help here.

I am afraid I may not be that helpful as I have not had this happen. I dissociate a lot and do have non trauma intrusions sometimes but not like that. I have however heard someone else discuss having intrusions of positive events from the past. Accompanied by intense emotions.

What did occur to me to ask was how you are presently attempting to deal with it. Do you try grounding and if you do then does it help?

 

[intrasearching]

Hi Jazzy,

I have similar issues. Depersonalization/derealization and constant intrusive thoughts have been my life for the past decade or so. They're both common issues with PTSD.

If you're taking any medications, those very well may cause those issues as well.

I do not take medication, and I found that my issues depersonalization/derealization and intrusive thoughts fluctuate and I have only had success with allowing time to bring me out of worse periods. Having a proper diet, good sleep, and a busy life (but not too busy) all have helped as well.

I wish you the best. I know it's a rough ride. Continue to bring this up with your therapist, or maybe even consider getting a second opinion.

 

[Jazzy]

Thank you for your advice. Right now I have just lost my best friend to suicide and my flashbacks and sleep/depression issues are of course more extreme now but I try to stay in the present as good as I can...I guess.

 

[Leah123]

Hello! I struggle with these things too. I've been having a ton of intense non-traumatic memories lately as well- I describe them as true time travel, one direction, observing only, but feeling as if I'm immersed there, in the past.

I have found it's helpful to have someone I trust, who knows my history, to help me make the emotional connection I need to anchor myself in my body and the present. My therapist can help with this sometimes, I hope you reach yours and get some help. Sometimes it just helps to hear someone else has had this struggle, and to FEEL that they empathize with me, to hear the "wow, that must be really hard/scary/lonely" etc. and know they understand. And I hope you know that a lot of us here can understand what it's like too.

Music helps me sometimes too, writing can help me connect all the random events into a more sensible narrative also. Sometimes just doing something really positive, something I love helps, trying to find whatever sounds the absolute most interesting possible thing and doing that. Other times, the only thing I've found is to try my hardest not to panic about the dissociation, to rest until it passes, knowing that once I'm not emotionally overhwhelmed/stressed/etc., I will get back to a place where I can feel my emotions again.

I hope it passes smoothly for you soon, and you get lots of rest and take good care of yourself.

 

[Jazzy]

Thank you Leah123. You have really helped me a lot. I don't think there is a shame telling people like your Therapist or people you trust about what you feel. Sure people who have never been through it may have a tough time to understand what it's like but if someone judges you for having PTSD in the first place they're obviously not good company anyway.

 

[Kintsugi]

Hi Jazzy, I've had sort of similar problems except all roads lead to Rome for me--all of my memories will somehow lead to traumatic memories while dissociating. I've also experienced prolonged spells of derealization, which does indeed feel like a tripped out dream. What helps me is

-(I second) Listening to music, particularly a wide range from various points in my life when I felt connected to something played one after another, so I can feel how easy it is for me to shift from one memory or association to the next as the song changes.

-Think of a song (least repetitive the better I think) that you know every word of and think through, say, or even sing every word, paying close attention to not pausing and remembering the whole thing word for word. This interrupts my wandering mind pretty well.

-Counting over and over again from one to five. This is supposed to help prevent trance states apparently, and I've recently started using it to stave off dissociative episodes. I find I eventually snap out of my malaise and regain bodily awareness.

-This is a more passive one I use when trying to fall asleep and to control my drifting thoughts so that I don't get into negative ones. Put on a movie or TV show, even a musical performance or radio program, that is positive to you (I like children's movies and TV episodes I've already seen many times), and focus your attention on every word (or note), second by second, noticing everything you can and being as aware as you can be of what you're hearing.

That all sounds kind of weird written down, but it has worked for me pretty well. I have my moments.