Childhood How Do I Explain If I Don't Know The Whole Story?

[IndigoSky]

I know I was sexually abused for about a year when I was 3-5ish. I can remember some things very clearly, just nothing that seems very helpful in the way of identifying the abuser. It was such a long time ago, and I'm kind of scared that if I tell anyone they will ask for details that I am unable to provide. Whenever I try to remember sometimes a new detail comes to mind but mostly I just get a massive headache. Will I get in trouble? (I'm an upperclassman in high school by the way) God bless

 

[katiekat]

I think you want to tell someone but I would be cautious as to whom you tell. Id tell your parents/guardians to sign you up to see a therapist. Id be hesitant to go to a school counselor because they might have different rules about reporting abuse than a non school counselor.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

I would recommend talking to a therapist. And you tell what you know. It can start off as simple as stating you were abused somewhere between the ages of 3-5 and the details are hazy. I don't remember all of my abuse, but that doesn't make it any less real. If you are feeling the need to talk about it and if it's affecting you in a negative way, definitely seek out a therapist who can then help guide you through the process.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Don't tell anyone details! You're not ready for it. You need to be safe, stable, and in the hands of a trained trauma therapist before you let out details.

"I was sexually abused" should suffice for now. Pressure for more could cause a complete and total breakdown. Believe me when I say you don't want to go there. A trained therapist will guide you through the process.

 

[Intrepid]

I agree with all of the above. The problem with trying to go into the details before you are ready is that it can make everything harder to handle, or harder to clarify, or just down right crushing. Forgetting happens for a reason. If you want' to remember, be gentle. Do it slowly.

I had some kind of memories of sexual abuse that happened at a very young age. With time I found that it was much more complicated than I first thought. Moving through this stuff is a long tedious process. Short cuts don't work. I know. I've tried all I could find.

Find a therapist outside of school. I know that might be a challenge, but it's advice I wish I could have taken when I first started recovery.

 

[somethingsomething]

Yeah, I agree with everyone. Don't rush it. The same exact thing just happened to me. I came on here, explaining it, and everyone told me the same thing: don't rush it. I didn't listen, haha...but eventually I did. Becaue I realized when I would force it, I couldn't tell what was real and what wasn't. I was constantly jumbling memories/feelings, and it was confusing the hell out of me. But when I just let it be and didn't focus on it, the right memories/feelings would come to me anyway.

Otherwise, you need to see an actual therapist that deals with trauma (like others have noted.) Just explain you were sexually abused - a good trauma therapist will understand your need to take it slow. In fact, you might feel the need to get it all out there, but try to breathe and relax. Just let them guide you in the discussion. You'll get it all out eventually.

 

[Lucycat]

Will I get in trouble?

In trouble for what? From what you have told us you have done nothing wrong. Be gentle on yourself. As others have said tell someone you trust and seek therapy. It is not necessary to remember any more. After all there is an awful lot that will have happened in normal life at that age that you would not be expected to remember.
Best wishes, Lucy