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How do I move forward

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Cmz

New Here
Hi everyone… I just feel so stuck and don’t know what to do and guess I just need a place to vent…. I saw my psychiatrist and therapist yesterday and they both brought up the idea of me possiblyneeding more intensive treatment for my depression… possibly an outpatient or maybe even inpatient hospital stay. I have been in and out of the hospital all through my teenage years and early 20’s and finally thought I was over that hump and actually live a happy life….and then I got assaulted in April and I’ve been spiraling down ever since. I don’t know what to do. It’s not even the incident that is so upsetting, I think it’s more how I am reacting to it thats bringing up a lot of different emotions that I guess have tried to push down for years And now they are overflowing. It’s like all of my old negative beliefs about myself have been proven true after the assault and I just feel like I’m lost again. I never thought I would react so badly to something like that and it’s so frustrating. I really don’t want to go back into the hospital either…I just feel so alone and confused on how to move forward
 
I'm sorry all that has happened @Cmz .

My T said to me before, when I had a slide back, that even though I was back it didn't take away all the work and progress that I had done. All that is still there. It hasn't disappeared.

Maybe there is a way of reframing it all to make it more acceptable or easier to accept?
You got better before. You can do it again.
You are dealing with a new trauma, on top of the previous traumas. That's a lot.
It's not always going to be like this.
But if your T and psych are recommending treatment, then, as upsetting as it might be: worth trying to get better again?
 
It sounds like you are in a really scary spot. Movingforward said it will. Having a slid doesn't mean that you are losing all the hard work you have done. Being assaulted is horrible and anyone would need extra help. If you end up needing hospitalization look at it as a tune up to get you back on track and refine all the great you work did before. That isn't to discount how defeating it must feel. I know I have found myself on the brink of breaking down in the last year and it is hard to be kind to myself. It is so much easier to tell someone else to patient when themselves. That said, be patient and kind to yourself. We all deserve it.
 
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