How Do You Find The Words For Difficult Topics?

[The Albatross]

The feelings that you attach to "recognizing your limitations" Junebug, are self defeating. What actions can you take to bolster up some new experiences and confidence in this area?

 

[Tinyflame]

I'm not sure @The Albatross , except for going out of my comfort zone. Because the limitations are more like a physical/ mental breakdown. I don't anticipate it so much as recognize it's coming. So I guess increase my emotional pain tolerance slowly. I've done/ do emotional regulation, but it's slow-going.

 

[The Albatross]

goals are SMART: Dead Link Removed

 

[Tinyflame]

Thanks @The Albatross that is appreciated. I'm not quite at the (a) '(Big) Goal' stage but smaller goals such as stability & facing beliefs. And day-to-day managing.

I find just to know something cognitively alone lacks a sensory component I need. For example, it works better for me if I go over the cognitive realities while walking, or try to think of 'good thoughts' when having a bath or breathing. Maybe I have to get the baseline anxiety or physical part reduced.

To be honest I don't have faith that on my own I can 'get' all of this. I heard 'do the best (we) can & God will do the rest'. I think it's up to me to recognize how far I can go but go cautiously & more calmly. I'm used to trying to throw everything at it but it undoes the progress I make. This time I am going to try to be more patient & also be thankful for the progress. Even speaking was progress, & overall I cherish some peace. I know my thoughts can go south so I'm going to try not to fall in to that.

 

[The Albatross]

There is an 80's song... "action, action, action not words". Forgot the title. Words without action is like contemplating your navel. (Def Leppard Action Not Words) - added in edit. Contemplating your navel may be comforting but it eventually bites you in the but because you weren't attending to the present.

 

[Tinyflame]

Hee, oh Alby, I agree. But I've had 30 years of 'action' on this- I have to choose better actions. I'm fallible. I'm imperfect. I will always fail to some degree. But to be patient & try to practise calmness & 'not-sinking' will be the greatest 'action' I can take. I can't 'drive'- I want out of the driver's seat of thinking/ trying it's all up to me. I can navigate, I can try, but I'm not God. I can only control my choices & hope that 'God' (or a Higher Power, to some) knows why I'm here & has whatever present/ future in mind for me & helps me stay here & accomplish it. My ways are insufficient & limited. That much I know.

 

[The Albatross]

Then be satisfied with slow progress. It is after all progress.

 

[Tinyflame]

Actually I am very thankful for it. I realize I guess it may seem slow or paltry to most, & that knowledge of myself has caused me a lot of grief & self-recrimination, but knowing who & how I am, it is big for me.

 

[Tinyflame]

You know, maybe healing or progress is not as important as trying to be a good person, not giving up, & having some happiness & peace? Kind of soul/ heart/ mind/ body thing? I mean they're all bad to lose or feel anguish in but some are worse than others.

I was thinking too, it's been greater than twenty years that I've felt anything but fleeting moments of safety. Even subjective things like that feeling being present for longer are really nice. I think I'm really lucky to feel that.

 

[Valentino]

I think it's very helpful to tell the truth & say the worst things/ thoughts/ fears. To actually 'say' them (out loud).. PTSD/ trauma/ my thoughts confuse me left to myself.

I think that the power self awareness is very under appreciated, and therefore often under utilized.

Lack of awareness, reinforces secrecy and self-deception. Unresolved emotions that are hidden in our shadows, fester and grow in the dark, becoming 'inner demons' and 'skeletons in our closet'.

The simple act of conscious awareness is like turning on the light and suddenly we realize that those shadows and other scary things aren't so scary now that they're out of the dark.

Sharing our authentic stories of suffering and shame (speaking our truth) with others who can bear witness with awareness, creates a multiplying effect on the light, releasing our past stories and neutralizing the power of our inner demons.

Covering up our darkness is needed at times, because many people do not want to see our darkness and often reflexively attack.

But for genuine peace, we need to develop the courage to explore our shadows and expose them to the light of awareness, it may be quite uncomfortable and foreign at first, but with practice it becomes easier, and slowly life becomes more meaningful.

 

[Tinyflame]

Thank you @Valentino, I think so. :hug:

 

[Tinyflame]

@Valentino, I don't think it's very healthy (or pleasant) to be around 'attacking' types, but I know what you mean. I think very few people can be trusted to that degree to reveal 'stuff', but it also depends if one is influenced by the other's capacity or reactions or such. I guess if one isn't it wouldn't matter. But one can own their own truth & be comfortable not sharing with many, I think. But it helps when one can be genuine/ transparent about their own faults/ history/ fears, with understanding +/or without condemnation. I think part of finding the words for difficult topic depends on content, receiver's capacity or ability to listen or not judge or attack too, taking a risk +/or or over-riding keeping it to one's self.