How Do You Know If You Have Been Sexually Abused As A Child

[Orglethorp]

Just popping in to say that my younger sister and I were both sexually abused as children, and I've spent many years wondering about how to help her with this as well.

On one hand, while I have always known what happened, I did not have any memories until a boyfriend temporarily forgot what no means, shall we say, in my first year of university. (The relationship didn't last long after that.) In the 6 months or so following that incident, I got back one complete incident memory in horrifyingly vivid detail, split-second snapshots of two others, and the unshakable conviction that those memories were just the tip of the iceberg. That was 2006, and I still haven't recovered any more memories. I just know they're there.

My sister, on the other hand, rarely admits to recalling anything at all. The only reason she even admits these days that we were sexually abused is because she's accepted that I'm telling the truth. What really sends a chill down my spine, though, is that despite her seemingly complete block on these memories, she'll say things out of the blue once or twice every few years that's just so completely not in line with what she claims to have no memory of. Back when I was first diagnosed with PTSD and not doing well at all, the two of us were sitting on a staircase somewhere around town, just talking, and she just stated so calmly "Dad raped us." She said it quietly, but she had confidence in the statement. She's never said that since, and doesn't even remember saying it.

 

[Hashi]

she just stated so calmly "Dad raped us." She said it quietly, but she had confidence in the statement. She's never said that since, and doesn't even remember saying it

Orglethorpe, I used to say things like this out of the blue (different context, different words, but same principle).when I still had selective amnesia.

I'm very sorry for both you and your sister.

 

[Philippa]

I just saw this thread now, and I know it is old.

My thoughts are that if you cannot remember anything, then it is probably not a good thing to go looking for stuff that may or may not be there. You are the best judge of whether there is something there that needs to be looked at, and if there is, then it will surface when the time comes.

I think it was negligent on the part of the therapist to put that suggestion in both your heads, without any evidence of there being actual sexual abuse. What if it isn't true? Putting that thought into a vulnerable persons mind can be terribly distressing, adn can cause a person to go looking in themselves for things that may or may not be there.