How Good Are You At Pretending You Don't Have Ptsd?

[Definitely..maybe]

Are you even able to pretend?

Sometimes it makes me doubt myself, because no one would believe how horrible I feel. Since taking classes 'in person' again I'm the happy, bubbly, polite girl. But I'm so exhausted when I get home. So headachey from faking it!

I think I'm going through again what I've gone through before, not being able to feel because I *have* to do things. It will lead to me being worse off I know.

Anyone else understand?

 

[Asptsd]

Yes, I'm the same way. I'm a teacher and I have to basically become an actor during the day. When I get home, I get in bed because I'm so exhausted by it all.

Sorry I didn't add much. Just wanted you to know you're not alone.

 

[greenleaf]

I definitely understand, I learned to do this pretty young; at a pretty deep level I thought I really had to. This stuff often feels to me like part of myself is making these decisions to cope without feeling everying, or to feel and deal with that, at a deeper level than I usually go around being aware of, yet it's always there too. This probably wouldn't make sense to a lot of people...

I'm not sure suppressing emotions always leads to being worse off; I think that can be a really complicated question. I think many people can do this for important survival reasons.

I got an education and lots of survival skills for living on my own by doing it. My goal was to get out of there, where my brother was; I believed it was for my own survival at the time. If there had been good help available at the time that I knew about, I might have chosen to take it, if I'd understood what was possible; I am also glad now that I have these skills, though.

It's very unclear how fast we actually can work through our stuff though! A lot of us need to deal with the world, at least to some extent, for many years of working on these issues... Also, you might not actually *want* to put aside everything else you might possibly like to do with your life, in order to heal. You might want to heal *and* do other things.

Yes, it's stressful to do this; you could use a perspective that you are also not just your ptsd though. I hope you are taking classes you like?

All I can say is, watch your stress levels, and try to listen to yourself and be good to yourself; keep working on your self-nurturing skills. Taking time to listen to yourself, to figure out what you really want, is difficult but very important to develop. You can try to listen to your "gut feelings"; sit still, or perhaps go walking or whatever helps you, to let some of your deeper feelings start to come up part of the time, then turn this down some and take classes and such. The ability to make this choice can be a gift to yourself.

I think I've been at stages of healing where I haven't been able to do this so well, but other times I have. However I'm very glad for my degrees! Being able to support myself feels safer to me, and my life has been much richer, than it would have had I not used some of these "survival skills".

 

[VT86]

Yes. I am usually pretty good at faking it throughout the day. I guess I fake it until I make it most of the time. Some days that doesn't happen though. Most people don't seem to notice there is anything wrong with me.

The thing is that by the time the day is over I'm just done being around people. It has lead to me being pretty isolated. I don't want to go hang out with friends or do anything else. Some days I can't even bring myself to get up and make dinner for myself because I'm so mentally exhausted. I don't go to work functions unless I have to. I'm sure that has left me behind as far as networking with my peers goes, but I use all of my energy just making it through the day.

 

[bitterfight_]

I definitely understand. I fake it through the day, and most people don't seem to take notice of anything. Of course, as you said, by the time the day is done, I too, am very exhausted. I find it hard to be around people, I don't know, I just like to be alone but at the same time I don't. Ahh so much energy just invested in surviving the day, and yet it sucks because I want to thrive, not just survive.

 

[Sally sue]

I am master at it :( but it's also what people expect of me, especially my family, and when I'm not that way, they get all ticked off at me like I'm faking having a problem!! The message I get from others is that I'm making it up, or being dramatic if I'm upset, depressed or frightened, so I just don't let that show...I guess in a way, putting on a happy face feels like I'm protecting myself, weird huh? This, I think, is the reason I question myself ALL the time, wondering if I'm making it up? Am I just wanting attention? The T brought up when I said maybe I just wanted attention, that that was an interesting idea since I isolate myself more and more the more upset I am...good point :) Maybe it's a coping mechanism?

 

[tillybee]

Honestly? When you get your diagnosis you question whether you've been holding this in all your life! I think we all learn to hide at times. It is such a shame there is stigma regarding mental illness and we feel we have to do this to 'fit in' or be 'normal'.

It takes alot of energy and concentration to fake it. Sometimes I'm scared even to let those closest to me see. I don't want to divulge the full extent of my PTSD to my loved ones for fear of losing even an ounce of their love.

The actual statistics are that 1 in 4 people will experience mental health problems. The stats are not very different to that of cancer, which are 1 in 3 people will be effected.

I think what I'm trying to say is that mental illness is still frowned upon even though it is quite commonplace. I hope that this is not always to be the case. :)

 

[Sally sue]

Argh! Tillybee you sure hit the nail on the head! :( this last weekend my mom was talking with my aunt about a grand kid that was going to counseling, my mom says "yeah, it's so in nowadays. I just don't get it." OMgosh! Who would want to go to the T all the time and work on this crap? Really??? Sometimes I think people are just weird :eek::wacky: ha

 

[tillybee]

:D and they say we need help lol! Thanks for your reply! It's good to giggle & make light of things sometimes. I find that other peoples 'caveman' mentality makes me laugh.

I find myself thinking 'can you imagine going on a full flashback meltdown in front of the snooty cow at work?' - or even faking a massive attack of something just to see the look on her perfectly paid for face!!! Lol :D

 

[Jane.l]

I deserve an oscar most days ! - I read a quote that said 'its easier to smile than explain why you're sad ' - so true

 

[onesie]

Shoot. I definitely know what its like to fake it. I began doing that at a young age to protect myself. I knew around me, until now I wouldn't be believed. I was always the blame for everyone. I would be told to sit in a chair and have demons cast out of me. Just for showing or expressing my feelings, opinions, and choices. I left home when I was eighteen, and they still managed to hurt me. I hid deep inside. Until I faced a man that knew my fears. Now I have extreme ptsd. From the age of 2-39. I was traumatized everywhere I went. I am just now putting the pieces in the right place, and feeling all of it. It's best to deal with it and face it, head on. Hurts like crazy, as we all know. ;/

 

[Definitely..maybe]

You guys are all so amazing and beyond admirable!

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and making me realize this is...'normal':hilarious:. At least for us.

If nothing else I'm very grateful I can fake it then come home to here:inlove: