How graphic are you with your therapist?

[Rumors]

I think tomorrow I will talk to my therapist about the fact that I started this thread and that mos...

Hahahahaha! I don't mean to laugh at that analogy bc it is so spot on but it is hysterical. I was honking the other day about how shaming it is to first admit/discuss/describe what happened but as well not being able to control what response my therapist has about what I just said leaves me almost completely unable to move. I feel like a wild animal about to be eaten so I sit very still and try to blend in with the surroundings even though I just dropped the biggest bomb. All I do know is that you aren't the only one and although it is horrible, it is likely not the only time they have heard such things.

 

[KwanYingirl]

@Rumors yeah I think for now I’ll just put trying to get better enough to have EMDR on the shelf. From what I gather, you have to go into the memory and not pass out!

 

[Rumors]

U

@Rumors yeah I think for now I’ll just put trying to get better enough to have...

Yes you have to be able to stay present for emdr. It is tough. And you have to be able to go back to that trauma and somewhat be present with it... sucks

 

[KwanYingirl]

@Rumors all things considered, was EMDR worth the suckiness?

 

[Rumors]

@Rumors all things considered, was EMDR worth the suckiness?

Uh... I haven't done enough of it yet. My therapist "wants" to do more and I haven't gotten there yet. Fortunately, I drive the bus on that and although every once in a while I get a nudge, I don't have to start back. I can say, yes I felt better, but it wasn't immediate and the few days afterward were tough. I can only liken it to a root canal. Your tooth hurts badly and the procedure is miserable and you feel better afterwards but you don't want to do it again if you can help it. Make sense?

 

[MyWillow]

Can I just say that you are all AMAZING. I just say the word "family" and dissociate off the planet.

 

[KwanYingirl]

Yes @Rumors it makes perfect sense. Thank you.

 

[Rumors]

Can I just say that you are all AMAZING. I just say the word "family" and dissociate off the planet.[/...

It won’t always be that way. There will come a time when you will be able to tolerate the word and then come other words and more and more. It happens. It can be slow at times and others it comes along more quickly.

 

[Freida]

when EMDR works it is amazing. It's like all the sudden a memory that just makes you want to puke whenever you think about it is just....done. You still have the memory but all the negative /horrible/can't talk about it feelings are gone. It's like it's just not that important anymore.

that's the happy. The bad is that it is AWFUL!!! You dig up all those horrible memories and basically relive them. You have the emotions and physical reactions you couldn't have during the initial trauma. You have to work through all of it to come out the other side. Some people get lucky and it only takes a few sessions. Some (like me) take longer. I'm a year and a half in of weekly sessions and have probably another year to go. Hey - if you are gonna be a mess--be a big one I say! :)

The only thing that keeps me going back is when a memory gets processed it is such a huge relief it makes it all worth it.

 

[Rumors]

The only thing that keeps me going back is when a memory gets processed it is such a huge relief it makes it all worth it.

Kind of like that root canal I was referring to earlier... lol

 

[Freida]

Yep!!!!

 

[Deleted member 8714]

she says sometimes it sounds like I'm reading a grocery list.

Yes, my T too. I feel like I must dissociate from it somewhat to remember the horror of it all.

I just say the word "family" and dissociate off the planet.

Oh yeah, that's how it was in the beginning in 1977 when I had a nervous breakdown. The first T I say ever asked me how my family life was as a child and I broke down and started crying. I cried every time I saw her; three times a week for the next three weeks. And then she said "family" and I was off somewhere else. Now that word doesn't set me off.