So my ex who turned into good friend in name, but actually we're still together, but with less stress and we spend less time together so all stays well between us.
It has been an amazing couple of weeks/months. No nonsense, no stress for him, no sadness for me. We meet in weekends, we cook and dine, we watch movies, we sleep. During the week we stay connected by text and phone, sometimes we meet up. It was going fine. I had decided that I would continue in this way with him until I finish college and then see where he stands in therapy.
Now that out relationship is not causing any of us stress any longer, the actual source of his stress came to surface. His dad is constantly soending his money. For groceries, to give to his brother, etc etc. Not to borrow, but to keep so to say. I'm not talking 50 a week. I'm talking thousands. He had put money aside to buy a car, and he was saving it on his dad's account > his dad has spent 10.000!!!!! of the 12.000 he had in that account. How can any sane person spend 10.000 of another person's money in a year?? Meanwhile, his brother gets free holidays and his bills are paid by his dad monthly. Thus, my boyfriend has been paying his brothers vacations and bills plus his father's groceries for the last year.
I just cannot understand how a father can spend his son's money to ive to his other son. This other son is unemployed by choice btw, and is living luxuriously while bf and I are always watching what we spend. His father never once asks my bf how his therapy is going, or what he even is in therapy for!!?? I told my bf it's his own choice to be enabling like this towards people who are clearly only after his money. It's so weird that the love for money can reach beyond the love for their own kids/siblings sometimes. But I guess we see that in a lot of people. Whenever I say this, bf says I'm right, but then continues to give his dad money. So I just stopped listening to it. Told him it's his own choice and responsibility to be supporting his dad (who btw is earning a very high salary monthly himself as well) and now even thinking once about building a home for the two of us, or doing something for our future.
Next to this, his therapist was on holidays and bf was too late to make an appointment, so he has been without therapy for 1.5 month now. This also adds up to his stress. Luckily he will see the T next week.
So here comes the issue > of course I am the once that gets shut out again. Yesterday he calls me, saying he's going to the shop to return a phone of which he found the insurance papers. The phone was broken. I asked him what phone? He tells me which phone. I instantly gor upset and moody (didnt yell or even say anything, just was silent). This phone was a secret phone he was using for his shady business of which I didnt know. I instantly remembered. Then he says, you know this is the phone I've been using before I had my current phone, so what are you getting upset about? So I tell him, no, before this phone you were using thisthat phone. The phone you're returning was your 2nd secret phone which you kept hidden from me and I later found out. He starts yelling. I hang up. He calls back, says ''we should end this, can you prepare my stuff in an hour''? Aaaand poof I'm shut out again.
We already went from lovers to friends, but I don't think I can take any more of his shutting me out anytime anything gets stressy for him policy. Pretty much NOTHING changes in my life when he is not in it. I arranged it that way because after so many times of this, you learn to make yourself happy and not rely on him. Anyhow, this time I'm really pissed off. He can go and try this stuff with his leech dad and brother. So funny how things are clear to me now.
RANT.
It has been an amazing couple of weeks/months. No nonsense, no stress for him, no sadness for me. We meet in weekends, we cook and dine, we watch movies, we sleep. During the week we stay connected by text and phone, sometimes we meet up. It was going fine. I had decided that I would continue in this way with him until I finish college and then see where he stands in therapy.
Now that out relationship is not causing any of us stress any longer, the actual source of his stress came to surface. His dad is constantly soending his money. For groceries, to give to his brother, etc etc. Not to borrow, but to keep so to say. I'm not talking 50 a week. I'm talking thousands. He had put money aside to buy a car, and he was saving it on his dad's account > his dad has spent 10.000!!!!! of the 12.000 he had in that account. How can any sane person spend 10.000 of another person's money in a year?? Meanwhile, his brother gets free holidays and his bills are paid by his dad monthly. Thus, my boyfriend has been paying his brothers vacations and bills plus his father's groceries for the last year.
I just cannot understand how a father can spend his son's money to ive to his other son. This other son is unemployed by choice btw, and is living luxuriously while bf and I are always watching what we spend. His father never once asks my bf how his therapy is going, or what he even is in therapy for!!?? I told my bf it's his own choice to be enabling like this towards people who are clearly only after his money. It's so weird that the love for money can reach beyond the love for their own kids/siblings sometimes. But I guess we see that in a lot of people. Whenever I say this, bf says I'm right, but then continues to give his dad money. So I just stopped listening to it. Told him it's his own choice and responsibility to be supporting his dad (who btw is earning a very high salary monthly himself as well) and now even thinking once about building a home for the two of us, or doing something for our future.
Next to this, his therapist was on holidays and bf was too late to make an appointment, so he has been without therapy for 1.5 month now. This also adds up to his stress. Luckily he will see the T next week.
So here comes the issue > of course I am the once that gets shut out again. Yesterday he calls me, saying he's going to the shop to return a phone of which he found the insurance papers. The phone was broken. I asked him what phone? He tells me which phone. I instantly gor upset and moody (didnt yell or even say anything, just was silent). This phone was a secret phone he was using for his shady business of which I didnt know. I instantly remembered. Then he says, you know this is the phone I've been using before I had my current phone, so what are you getting upset about? So I tell him, no, before this phone you were using thisthat phone. The phone you're returning was your 2nd secret phone which you kept hidden from me and I later found out. He starts yelling. I hang up. He calls back, says ''we should end this, can you prepare my stuff in an hour''? Aaaand poof I'm shut out again.
We already went from lovers to friends, but I don't think I can take any more of his shutting me out anytime anything gets stressy for him policy. Pretty much NOTHING changes in my life when he is not in it. I arranged it that way because after so many times of this, you learn to make yourself happy and not rely on him. Anyhow, this time I'm really pissed off. He can go and try this stuff with his leech dad and brother. So funny how things are clear to me now.
RANT.
