How To Overcome Paralysis?

[bankhead]

Yes indeed. Now I have a very hard time falling a sleep and then an even harder time getting up which is really a problem since I have a school aged child. The worst part for me is the mess we are living in is taking a toll on my little one. Got to find help --- and soon.

 

[Muzikluvr]

OMG brat, we need to talk and form some kind of support group. Musiklover make it a threesome and encourage one another.

If you start a support group, please consider me as a candidate.

Any member can start a support group, if one of you wants to get this started. I'd be happy to look into it if you prefer, but my cup is really full right now. I'd hate to take the lead and let anyone down.

I had some success with another member when I found her in chat, distressed like this... having so much to do and feeling stuck. I made a deal with her... she does a chore, and I'll do a chore and we'd meet back in chat afterward. It went really well! :) I got a couple of chores done because I was up and they weren't difficult - like throwing some things in the trash, straightening up the stuff around me, on my way back from doing the dishes.

Also, it felt REALLY good to hear her come back to chat feeling relieved that she'd accomplished something, feeling cared about because someone was there to witness it... maybe... I'm not sure. But, I think just having a friend who understands that you're not lazy, and also is there to discuss the emotions that came up or whatever... can be helpful.

How do we want to set up our support group? What will our goals be? When do we want to meet?

 

[bankhead]

I'd be happy to look into it if you prefer, but my cup is really full right now. I'd hate to take the lead and let anyone down.

This is a lead I would be eager to take. I need it and I need to get back in the saddle of responsibility as well.

I had some success with another member when I found her in chat, distressed like this... having so much to do and feeling stuck. I made a deal with her... she does a chore, and I'll do a chore and we'd meet back in chat afterward. It went really well! :) I got a couple of chores done because I was up and they weren't difficult - like throwing some things in the trash, straightening up the stuff around me, on my way back from doing the dishes.

That is so great to read. I see how that can really work.

Also, it felt REALLY good to hear her come back to chat feeling relieved that she'd accomplished something, feeling cared about because someone was there to witness it... maybe... I'm not sure. But, I think just having a friend who understands that you're not lazy, and also is there to discuss the emotions that came up or whatever... can be helpful.

Muzikluvr, that sounds so good. It warms my soul to read it.

How do we want to set up our support group? What will our goals be? When do we want to meet?

Very good questions. You have a hand with organization. Right now this is a priority with me so I am wide open. Perhaps we could each have our own goals. I can see setting a goal of working a certain amount of time and reporting back or working on a specific task at a time. I think I would like to post photos. Is that possible on this forum?

i can't wait to hear other's ideas. This is very exciting for me.

 

[Muzikluvr]

This is a lead I would be eager to take. I need it and I need to get back in the saddle of responsibility as well.

That's great, Bankhead! :D I'm excited to participate.

I think I would like to post photos. Is that possible on this forum?

Yes! :) We can post pics to a thread, or send them in a chat room, or upload them in a private conversation. However we choose to communicate, feel accountable for our commitments, have a chance to discuss what it felt like to try, to succeed, and to fail. I imagine some trauma memories may come up.

 

[mamachick]

Im grateful for you to take the lead-I couldnt right now. Im sorry-I can follow, but still cannot lead at the moment.

I freeze in so many situations, except for here, I am able to be me, why is that. Even between sentences, sometimes it is minutes of numb time.

I would be so grateful to be part of this group. Maybe we, together , could figure it out, identify the source, and encourage each other, sharing our things that help us progress to more functional life.

Bankhead- please get in your saddle and lead.

 

[soulofLC]

Yes, Bankhead. That would be great. Perhaps we can help at times, though, if it gets too much for you. I have a feeling that we will all get stronger as we go along, building confidence with each task accomplished.

 

[soulofLC]

Just found an interesting writer, indirectly, by following one of Meadowsweet's threads on gaslighting. It led to a Physchology Today article, alongside it a "most popular articles" list. In the list were several articles by Michael Michalko. He has also written books on creative problem solving.

I think I will try and find some of his books at the library. Very positive and empowering stuff. Perhaps there is a way out of the spot I'm in, the mess in my house being the evidence! I don't know if he can help me out of the mess just yet. But interesting stuff. A new way of looking at things and untangling our energies.

I am looking forward :) to some postive interaction with some interested parties on this site.

You are using creative thinking and problem solving, Bankhead!

 

[bankhead]

Hello - I am sorry that I havenot responded in a couple of days. I was looking for "Alerts" but didn't see any so I decided to come post and found lots of comments.

OK - I'm ready to go. For some reason I am feeling stronger and very motivated. The very idea of having other people to work with is so powerful.

Perhaps we could find times to check in with each other in the mornings, set a goal for the day, offer encouragements and then have a time to check in later in the day. If someone cannot check in in real time they can post their goals anyway and still receive encouragement via posts.

I live in the Central Time Zone. The best time for me is to check in after I take my child to school. I could also check in early in the morning before the day gets going. And then I can check in after about 8pm

Each of us can decide how we want to set goals. One suggestion is to set a larger goal and then set smaller goals on the way toward that bigger goal. Goals that take an extended time are the most difficult for me. I get lost in the small stuff and give up too easily.

Anonymity gives me to courage to post photos of my mess and the joy of getting to the other side would be so remarkable. I am so thankful for this possibility.

 

[soulofLC]

My photos are going to look like an archaeological dig is in order. It is embarrassing! You post first, Bankhead!

I don't think my space has ever been this bad. In fact, I know it hasn't! Not that I was ever Queen of neatness and organization, but this is out of the proverbial ballpark!

 

[Muzikluvr]

OK - I'm ready to go. For some reason I am feeling stronger and very motivated. The very idea of having other people to work with is so powerful.

That's what it's all about, Bankhead! :D

I'm not sure I want to post my goals everyday in this thread, and if we do a real time chat, then our goals won't be saved for future reference. I wonder if a private conversation would be an acceptable place to post our goals?

We could post our goals in the private conversation, then get to work... or go from there to an arranged chat time depending on our schedules.

We could arrange a time when all of us can get together and discuss those goals, before, during, after... if necessary. It may be that we are all available each time, or maybe just a couple of us meet at a time... whatever we need. I mean, I'm available at several times during the day. Some days, I would be at all those chats, but other days I might only make one of them. It just seems that the real time struggle will happen at different times based on what the struggle is... getting started, feeling overwhelmed while working on it, or feeling good/bad about the result.

What do you think about that kind of set up? Just trying to find the best way to be accountable and also support one another in real time.

If others want to join our chat and conversation then they can post to this thread, or find us online during a support group chat.

 

[Meadowsweet]

This is so wonderful to see such a positive outcome to a thread. Well done everyone:tup:

 

[mamachick]

Very well done. I really like the idea of the chat. I am wondering a lot about the obstacles and self talk and if we have similarities in that area. This is great.