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How's Your Day Been? Each Day is Different, So Make Your Mark Daily

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:hello: I know it's scary :eek: to ask what's going on.....IMHO the therapist should have provided the information why the end date was set.....I know it's difficult as the old fears creep in at such a high level internally that it's easy to disconnect and just let things happen....I know you are worth fighting for!!!! I have found out in my experience that it is better to ask and know where you stand and exactly why things are happening....As my T says...what's the worst that can happen if you ask and the news is actually bad...You're already at that place as you've been set an end date to your therapy....I think it's to your benefit to ask what's going on....They're may be an misunderstanding that needs to be set right....Also if you say that you believe that you still need therapy and can give one reason they may reconsider....Also maybe they feel that you aren't putting anything into your therapy sessions and are frustrated....YOU NEED TO KNOW!!! In times when I've been scared of something with my T....I have put it in writing and just hand it to him.....That brings up what I'm feeling in a more easier capable manner for myself....than actually having to verbally say it.....When is your next therapy appointment?? Please do some deep breathing then write out the note to your T....and so it's ready and you can relax knowing that your opinion will be known....then go do something fun for yourself!! My prayers are with you as you face this challenge!!! ......PEACE TO THE PLANET
 
thank you wildfire, my t probably has told me- something about having an end date can be beneficial to work towards but i haven't retained why. i need to ask again. a few weeks ago we had a discussion about whether i could open up and let emotions come out so had up to six sessions to try and if i couldn't then maybe it was my mind saying it can't cope with it and best left alone. i've made some progress on it so another ten sessions have been offered but t's made it clear that that is it and my only chance with them. t told me to decided what i want to work on as not everything will be covered as there wasn't time. i did know this when i started (have had 51 sessions now have 9 sessions left 3 of which will be in t's words "to say goodbye properly" whatever that means?) i think writing down what i want to say is a good idea as i find it hard to talk in sessions. thanks for advice and support, still feel down today but more able to think.
 
Ready for bed. Good day today and yesterday.

Barbecue and picnic here at home yesterday with husb. family.

It went especially well both because we were prepared and all pitched in, but also, I got to focus on, take good care and really enjoy my kids, .... and too chat less with the adults. They're good people, however and I do enjoy talking with them as well.

Both last night and tonight my husb. and I had a babysitter. This was great, and we got to go out together. A' just to a meeting, but the key is.......we' got to be and go together.

Today we had much to accomplish and he and I worked together well.

Can't wait to get to sleep tonight. -Hope
 
dark skies, is that kind of provisioning of "X more sessions to see if you make progress" typical in the UK?
 
Was allowed to sleep very late this morning 11AM. Which is good and not so good. Good bc I've been both unwilling and unable to sleep nights lately, falling to sleep between 3 and 4am; Not so good - bc, I'd rather wake earlier even after losing sleep, get to bed earlier evenings and not get messed up on my sleeping patterns. -Can't afford this.

Last couple of days, my husb. and I have listened intently to two days of, 3hr.+ talks on repeated stories of another family members lifetime experience's and his strong religious convictions and how his convictions need to be our's ASAP.

Fortunately, both husb. and I chiefly believe as he does already, but quite frankly giving this type of undivided attention away, can be draining, exhausting and confusing as we're torn and struggle not to withdraw our prescense from two very important people, Our Children. And, it can too be frustrating having family adults' needs stand in the way of some personal and very vital home matters and responsibilites. Must say we do love these family member a great deal, do very much appreciate them and want nothing but show them our respect for them and to let them know we love them.

Besides all this stress, today has been pretty good in general.
 
It's been a Good Day! Did have a pretty intense nightmare last night, but woke nonetheless with energy and glad to be alive. Yesterday's anxiety and stress felt enormous, but relieved some in the evening during talk with husb. and an apology from him for something. Today went well, spent time with my husb., planted a tree, and spent some quality time with my son too, all while daughter was away on a playdate for the day.
 
:eek: I developed a very bad toothache Saturday night....kept waking up with it....my last dentist quit taking Medicaid Insurance January 1st....really was miffed about that as have been his patient for several years....Plus I grew up with him in my neighborhood....Sad to once again find out that everything comes down to money....This afternoon at 1:00 I go to a new dentist without knowing anything about him....:eek: I had to call around to find one that takes my insurance....Hope he isn't a geek of some sort!! I find it harder to deal with dentists than with medical doctors....I hope that this goes well....Just soooooo SCARY..... On the good side though I know I will stand up for myself whatever happens.......SEEKING THE PEACE
 
Today I reached out to a friend for help for the first time. It felt good and scary at the same time. I felt relieved to have a friend to help. I think this was a good step.
 
Screaming!!!

:eek::mad: I went to the new dentist on Monday morning...had x-ray taken.....didn't show much except a small black line....he said it was probably a bite problem and it would cost $45 to fix which Medicaid [my state insurance] would not pay for....so I said it would have to wait till next month.....Monday in middle of night...Screaming with same toothache pain!!....Took 2 of my knee-pain med tabs, 2 extra strenghth tylenol....over an hour to ease of enough to sleep.....So I called dentist back and saw him yesterday and he decided to re do the filling in the bottom side of sore tooth....told to keep taking same stuff for pain.....slept through night....a bit sore this am plus cheek swollen so gargled with hot salt water as recommended and same dosages of previous night....eased off enough to take a nap....woke up at 3 pm with just a bit of toothache and cheek swelling had eased....went to T's at 6 pm...stopped at Taco Bell for 2 soft tacos as I had not been able to eat much since last Saturday night...a bit sore when I left T's.....Stopped to see old friends.....around 7:30 pm..toothache started up again and I didn't have the Tylenol with me but when I left at 9 pm I took two of the tramadol....got home a bit after 9:30 pm....Screamed all the way home!!!! Took 2 extra strength Tylenol waited....no relief so I flossed and then did several swishes of hot salt water which had also been recommended.....It's almost midnite and the PAIN is still the Screaming type!!! but a little bit less and my cheek is swollen again....THIS IS CRAP!!! I will call dentist at 9 am [don't know when I'll get to sleep!!] and insist on seeing him again....I really think that I have an infection as when he removed the filling he said there was some softness down there and he said he had dug it all out....I think he should have given me some antibiotics....What I've taken for PAIN is just not working 3 hours after I first took the 2 tabs of Tramadol!!! I feel like asking a neighbor to drive my van forward as I have attached a string to my tooth and yank the sucker out!!!! He's going to have to do something major!!!!! I have also put extra strength Anbesol on it and it's supposed to give immediate relief!!! Nothing is getting better:cussing: I really don't need this!!!! My gum above the sore tooth is also very sore!! This is now gotton rather traumatic!!!!.....SEEKING THE PEACE
 
:frown:This past week has been pretty much absolute hell!!! After being up all night Thursday crying and crying hugging my stuffed bunny as the pain hung on all night...out of sheer exhaustion...I fell asleep at 6AM...after taking more of Ex-tra strength tylenol again....When I woke later in the day I called the dentist to get in to see him....only to be told they are closed on Fridays....CRAP!!!....made appointment for Monday....Later around 7 pm the pain in my mouth increased once again...OUCH!!! So about 10pm I decided to go to the local ER as I did not want to spend the whole night up in agony again....I was told that I had a virus infection [that day I had found two very sore spots on my upper gum] It was from the herpes virus but not the one transmitted by sex...They gave me a rinse to anesthetize my gum and sent some home with me along with 4 tabs of vicodin...one to take when I got home....they also started me on an antibiotic as my cheek was swollen and red....I took the vicodin when I got home and swished my mouth again.....NOTHING got better!!...Enormous pain again ALL night AGAIN!!!! So I was up and crying into my bunny once again all night till 4am when I took the 2nd vicodin.....then finally got to sleep....forgot to take vicodin at an even spaced time sooo the pain got away from me AGAIN....and I was up most of Sat. night....what a BITCH!!!:boxing: The next night I got to sleep at 2am....slowly have been recovering....Unfortunately all this physical pain started some flashbacks and nightmares...Whenever I'm in physical pain my nervous system goes haywire and the PTSD symptoms increase....Today I was quite a bit better but had a few suicidal thoughts transverse my mind which is no picnic but I don't act on them anymore...I forced myself to do the laundry that had needed to be done for 3 days....I hate being alone at times like these...Really feeling depressed....will see my T tonight at 6pm....I'm going to try and get some sleep:sleeping:....SEEKING THE PEACE
 
So I am unclear. You were seen right? You are coming back out? I am happy to see you did other things to cope. Please keep getting better. Hubs has been trying to get me to get a cavity worked on for over a year. I am too scared as the pain is intermittent enough (when I bite) to not make me go through what you have yet. What did they have to do? Or do they need to wait for the infection to clear first?
 
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