Today has been hard for me. I've been going over what I want to talk to my therapist about, and printing out some things I've written in my diary/journal so I don't have to speak them. I know when I say them out-loud, I trigger myself.
Yesterday, I did a really foolish thing. I was feeling pretty strong, and I forgot it's my shoulder, not my hand, that is damaged. So I decided to pick a knife up off the table. Rather than moving my chair into position to use my right hand, I extended my left arm out and almost fainted. It reminded me very quickly not to do that. Such a stupid move on my part.
My physical therapist is coming tomorrow, so we shall see if I messed it up again. Sigh.
The woman who was suppose to take me to my therapy appointment on Friday let me know she can drop me off, but can't take me back home. I got upset, and told her she needed to find me a ride, since I've already canceled once, and I really need to talk to him. So she ask the guy who takes out my trash to do it. He came over to find out what was going on. He thought it was for a physical therapy thing, and when I told him it was for my mental health, he wanted to know what was wrong. So I told him I have PTSD. He had no clue what that is. Sigh.
When I told him, he laughed and thought I was joking when I said in the past people had tried to kill me. Even as recently as last year. He commented he hoped they were in jail. I told him the facts of life, and he goes, "Wow. You are serious aren't you?" I said yes, and escorted him to the door. Which made me upset. Now he's going to think I"m crazy. sigh. I've already been through this with another neighbor a few years ago. I hate having to explain things to people.
They either don't believe you, or they think you're nuts, or they think your dangerous. Sigh. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr