How's Your Day Been? Each Day is Different, So Make Your Mark Daily

[YoungAndAngry]

Avoidence, avoidence, avoidence... one step forward... two steps back. :(
Called my Family Doc today... cancelled my appointment.

I was supposed to see him prior to my appointment with the surgeon.
But I just didn't think I could deal with discussing it today.
Both my Boyfriend and brother are working nightshift... so I'm left alone for the night.

I just want happy thoughts today,
so I rescheduled the appointment family doc for 1 hour before my surgeon appointment.

I'll deal with it all in one day.
No need to upset me right now, right?

 

[Deleted member 93]

Get it all done at once like ripping off a band-aid sounds good to me. No sense in over stressing yourself, sounds like you have enough to deal with as it is. I think it is a good choice, best wishes and hugs!

 

[YoungAndAngry]

Feeling abit worn-out

Gonna play a computer game...
... distract myself for another 1/2 hour, lol

 

[anthony]

What works works YA, and each must vary according to their own needs. As long as you get it done in the end, how you do it is best suited to you, and obviously a good commonsense approach you have taken that is best for you. Well done.

Veiled,

Here is a list of some of the issues in withdrawing from Xanax, let alone going into Zoloft also:

Neurologic: Insomnia, light-headedness, abnormal involuntary movement, headache, muscular twitching, impaired coordination, muscle tone disorders, weakness.
Psychiatric: Anxiety, fatigue and tiredness, irritability, cognitive disorder, memory impairment, depression, confusional state.
Gastrointestinal: Nausea/vomiting, diarrhea, decreased salivation.
Metabolic-Nutritional: Weight loss, decreased appetite.
Dermatological: Sweating.
Cardiovascular: Tachycardia.
Special Senses: Blurred vision.

One of the side effects of the anti-depressant Zoloft, is depression! Go figure ha! Many anti-depressants can actually cause more severe depression, or agrivate depression, hence why it is usually better from what I have seen and learnt myself, to get rid of anything that is anti-depressant ASAP and manage the depression side of problems through healthy eating and daily exercise. Take pills for the anxiety and other issues if needed until you learn how to cope with them all without medications, or seek a naturopath for something more natural to treat depression, that doesn't cause depression as a side effect.

 

[piglet]

Had a very very bad day. Would like to answer some people's posts, but I'm worn out. Will hopefully catch up a bit tomorrow :)

 

[YoungAndAngry]

Don't worry about replying right now...
you take care of yourself!

See you tomarrow Piglet!

 

[piglet]

Thanks. It's amazing what a nice walk can do to ground you. Still tired, but my brain is working a little better now. One step at a time -quite literally!

 

[YoungAndAngry]

Hey Piglet... Mr. Bear says "Thank You!!!!"

I'm taking him out for a stroll right now.
Toss the frisbee or tennis ball for abit.

lol, he's convinced he's a frisbee dog,
but he's a big pitbull... not exactly built for jumping.
We'll just not tell him the difference :)

Anyways... he wanted to thank you for motivating me to take him out

 

[piglet]

You're welcome! I hope you had a good time!

 

[YoungAndAngry]

That walk was insane!

I decided to take advantage of the quietness and try to sort some thoughts out.
I remember sitting down to play catch with Mr. Bear
Just tossing the ball like a robot, it was just a motion to me at that point.

After about 30 min or so a big group of kids come walking towards me.
I've been there long enough so I get up... and start heading back towards home.
(don't forget it's 2 AM at this point, pitch black outside)

I'm almost at my driveway
(but still in sight of the group of kids, since they had stopped walking and were just hanging out)
But something doesn't feel right...

I look down... SH*T!!!!
I don't have my dogs leash.
He's been offlleash this entire time (which is illegal in my city)
and I have NO IDEA where in the field I may have laid it down.

So while thinking... I continue walking...
At this point I don't know what to do.
Walking all the way back to that field while everyones in it, is not an option!
And now I've already walked past my house... so I'll feel like an idiot if I just turn around an walk up my driveway...

Long story short...
I wandered my neighbourhood for another hour before I felt safe enough to go search for the leash.

After I found it... I was sooo exhausted mentally and physically that I just sat down right there in the middle of the field.
(apparently I'm not going to be happy until I've proven to all of my neighbourhood that I'm nuts... ughhhh!)

So while sittying there I starting thinking about some deep issues... again
...at some point I kind of remember getting up

Anyways... when I finally snapped out of my little daze...
I was like 40 min away from my house, walking along the fields tree line.
Thank God Mr. Bear was right beside me!!
I honestly don't think I would have even noticed it he had fallen behind or gotten lost.

The walk back was so scary... I started panicking about how long it was going to take to get to my safe house!!!!!
It was so strange... I'm sure I looked like I was drunk.
I just couldn't seem to walk straight anymore.

Anyone experienced this before????
i think it's a first for me...

So, as I'm stumbling home... it starts raining.
Any sane person would probally speed up and get home.

Me? Of course I'm still so deep in thought that I decide to sit down on the grass yet again!!!
I take off my hoody, and the cool wind has never ever felt so good.
I don't even notice the rain (or at least I don't think I did)

It was this odd feeling of being completely dry, while in reality my t-shirt and sweatpants were dripping wet.

And the rain felt awesome on my face...
So at the end of the field I took another break
(yes I do normally take stupid dumb mini breaks every 5 - 10 min... Doctors orders!... just stretch out, etc.)

I sit in the grass (now facing the opposite direction)
and play catch for another 20 min?

I'm back at home now...
but Yikes!!! I'm sure tomarrow nights walk will be much better.



As I'm right by

 

[anthony]

That's one kickarse walk YA... well done, and good to hear about.

 

[anthony]

Last night was a bit funny for me. For some reason, I got very edgy, and I mean edgy, in that even a breeze had me startled and alert. Kerrie was stuffing about and even touching me, it alerted my senses beyond belief, something I have not experienced in a long long time, and something to the point at where even adrenalin had kicked in a little and I was ready to fight. Odd it was.

Anyway, I stuffed about for a while, told myself to snap out of it, and went to bed about 1am I think. It took me another good hour to settle myself down, tell myself that my brain was attempting to play tricks on me again, and go to sleep. Needless to say, I didn't get much sleep. Any little noise, sound or slight movement had my attention, even the corners of my eyes where working in unison, in that I nearly had 360 degree vision with all senses kicked in the way they where. Very very strange for me, and not something I have felt in some years now.

I pulled it apart, tore into it, and tried to find what exactly was causing it, but to no evail what so ever. I put it down to maybe a slight reaction to my flu, as that has been stuffing me around to no end lately, and last night I was pretty yuk still... so it may off just been something the flu was doing, or my immune system had triggered even, that raised such an alertness level within me again. If a scale of 0 - 10 existed, I was definately a 10+.

Woke up this morning though, and all is well as normal with me... with no alertness or other issues... so it could have to do with the flu, as I feel better again today from that, though still taking it easy and recovering from it overall. Strange it was...