D
Deleted member 93
I swear I don't know if it is coming off the xanax or zoloft doing the opposite of what it should. I get I am depressed. I have never in my life been so drug down. Yesterday I woke up to my baby bouncing on the bed telling her dad do-nuts. It is a weekend treat. He left to get do-nuts and at 2:30 in the afternoon I woke back up to see I had wasted my day, and what is worse is it was my husband's birthday, I told him how sorry I was I did not mean to sleep it away. He is a jewel, he said "baby I have my family and you, all I want, my birthday could not be better"... Looking at me with a pillow and blanket in my arms and a total wreck as I did not have the energy to even shower yesterday, how can he be grateful for this???? As he is off to buy feed and groceries, telling my am beautiful. All I can think is there is only room for one nut in this house.
Thing is coming off the xanax puts me in the gutter for about 4 days lots of sleep and then I would have energy again, go play with my birds and listen to their different calls, chirps, honks, and quacks... I would let myself feel good for a few days before taking another cut in dose. The birds always made me feel good. I love the turkeys eating out of my hands and I have a special little one that was one of the first chickens I owned that loves to be picked up and pet.
But all this is gone now. I am still stepping down on the xanax, but the shrink had tossed zoloft in the mix. I have been on it now for well over a month, and now I get depressed? The last couple steps down I hit the funk and waited to feel better but this time it is not happening and that is what got me diagnosed with a bad case of depression. How do you go from not to a bad case all of a sudden? I won't stop tapering the xanax and will talk to the therapist about any possible link as when depression kicked in is when I am supposed to be feeling the full effect of zoloft an anti depressant! I just want to feel good again, I have dropped 20 lb, no exercise, hell, the stairs up to the bath are hard, I am already a healthy weight so don't need to lose. I am not sure my therapist even wants me on zoloft, but the shrink does. Some days I feel like I am winning and others I feel like I am fighting a losing battle.
I actually got up yesterday because I was told my muscovy was off her nest, I don't see babies or shells, I guess her nest was raided. But while I was out there I did see one thing that made me feel good. I was misinformed, I DID have one of my saddle back geese die (not good) but NOT SNAKE!!! Snake is still alive, I scooped him up and gave him the biggest hug, he wasn't tickled but I was!!!! Oh my day was already better. Nothing better than knowing your pet isn't dead but it sure as hell would be nice if they CHECKED and made sure before telling me that!!! Asses.
Then I wake to withdrawls kicking me all over the place today, I just love waking in panic. I am down to 4.5mg xanax and today I should be cutting more, I think this cut is really going to be painful. I am on half of where I started but it seems harder with depression to give it up. The kids are not even up yet but I feel on the verge of an attack, having chest pains and shaking, and sore muscles. I slept fine but feel like I could do my whole day like that to just hide from it, can't feel it asleep.
My husband and I filled out the form with 150 questions. It does seem I keep a bit bottled up. But it is not things you just sit around and tell someone except a therapist I would think... It was in the intrusive thought portions. gesh, long winded huh?
I am happy for those who did well this weekend!
Thing is coming off the xanax puts me in the gutter for about 4 days lots of sleep and then I would have energy again, go play with my birds and listen to their different calls, chirps, honks, and quacks... I would let myself feel good for a few days before taking another cut in dose. The birds always made me feel good. I love the turkeys eating out of my hands and I have a special little one that was one of the first chickens I owned that loves to be picked up and pet.
But all this is gone now. I am still stepping down on the xanax, but the shrink had tossed zoloft in the mix. I have been on it now for well over a month, and now I get depressed? The last couple steps down I hit the funk and waited to feel better but this time it is not happening and that is what got me diagnosed with a bad case of depression. How do you go from not to a bad case all of a sudden? I won't stop tapering the xanax and will talk to the therapist about any possible link as when depression kicked in is when I am supposed to be feeling the full effect of zoloft an anti depressant! I just want to feel good again, I have dropped 20 lb, no exercise, hell, the stairs up to the bath are hard, I am already a healthy weight so don't need to lose. I am not sure my therapist even wants me on zoloft, but the shrink does. Some days I feel like I am winning and others I feel like I am fighting a losing battle.
I actually got up yesterday because I was told my muscovy was off her nest, I don't see babies or shells, I guess her nest was raided. But while I was out there I did see one thing that made me feel good. I was misinformed, I DID have one of my saddle back geese die (not good) but NOT SNAKE!!! Snake is still alive, I scooped him up and gave him the biggest hug, he wasn't tickled but I was!!!! Oh my day was already better. Nothing better than knowing your pet isn't dead but it sure as hell would be nice if they CHECKED and made sure before telling me that!!! Asses.
Then I wake to withdrawls kicking me all over the place today, I just love waking in panic. I am down to 4.5mg xanax and today I should be cutting more, I think this cut is really going to be painful. I am on half of where I started but it seems harder with depression to give it up. The kids are not even up yet but I feel on the verge of an attack, having chest pains and shaking, and sore muscles. I slept fine but feel like I could do my whole day like that to just hide from it, can't feel it asleep.
My husband and I filled out the form with 150 questions. It does seem I keep a bit bottled up. But it is not things you just sit around and tell someone except a therapist I would think... It was in the intrusive thought portions. gesh, long winded huh?
I am happy for those who did well this weekend!
