wildfirewildone
Gold Member
Just Getting By
:loopy: I have been trying to keep up on what's going on...on this forum...It's almost a week now...since my sicko sister harassed my cousin which ended up with me being dragged over to the local ER....I haven't posted about the absolutely bizarre events of last weekend....Last Sat. AM at 4:02 I was on my way to bed [exhausted but happy I was feeling very sleepy=SLEEP finally] when my phone rang...thinking to myself of who would be calling me at that hour...turns out it was the dispatcher from my local police dept. ....she said that a family member from Willoughby [I have a cousin there from my ex's side of the family--they are my TRUE family and this cousin and I are very close--they were happy I got a divorce and the ex stays away--YAY!!] had called and was concerned that I might harm myself...I really had to pull my self together so I would be able to answer the usual questions even though I was exhausted...I told her basically I was okay and the farthest thing from my mind was suicide...she said she wanted to send 2 officers over to talk with me....I said no problem...it was 40 minutes before they got here...meanwhile my body was screaming for SLEEP...The cops got here and I let them in...they too asked the usual questions & I answered them while looking them straight in the eye...the one cop then asked me all the questions in the rapidfire way...I again looked him in the eye and said a rapid set of no's...they said I was fine and they'd go but might have to come back...I said I am going to sleep[I was not going to force my body to remain awake for anybody!!] and I locked the door...turned on my 2 breathing machines and fan and conked out....at two points I was aware that someone was at knocking on a door...once I growled out a LOUD scream..I AM SLEEPING..I CAN'T GET TO THE DOOR!!!....conked out...2nd time...DRUGGIES GO AWAY OR I'LL CALL THE COPS!!!....BOOM the heavy security chain broke by what I now know to be from a fireman....flashing lights loud talking I forced myself into some state of awareness..[SCARED SH**LESS] begging to be left alone..let me sleep...come on I need my sleep....then I got threatened that if I didn't come with them 2 BIG BURLY firemen would drag me out...I looked up and saw two GIANT hulks silhoutted in my hallway...[TALK ABOUT TRAUMA!!!!] I again had to pull myself together and grabbed 2 rabbits & comfort blanket and put on my robe over the dress I had thrown on before falling into deep sleep...[thankfully I hadn't climbed into to bed with just my undies on as I usually do when exhausted!]and went with them via cot in ambulence...heard they had been out there for over an hour....as I slumped on the cot and into the twilight zone....got to the ER [3 minutes from here] heard ER staff asking why I was there...seeing I was just sleepy not suicidal....heard the cops say it was because the NORD CENTER [our county mental health center] had insisted I be brought there...Those asses!!! They use their power very unethically...they are the ones who do all the assessments in this county and they really like to SHOW their 'power" by often doing such asshole things!!! This time I was the "victim" [I hate using that word but no other would fit] of their PROFOUND STUPIDITY!!!! At the ER I got one of the "psych" rooms...no having to give up my dress and robe for one of those skimpy gowns either...no security guard posted...I rolled in and out to go to potty room a few times and the staff just waved back as I went past them...me=not a threat obviously!!!!....as if they hadn't done enough crap to me already...I had to have the blood test & pee test...all fine...THEN :angry-fla I had to WAIT!!!! for the clinician from the center to assess me...waited THREE HOURS!!! Believe me I was SOOOOO PISSED!!! but I had to "act nice" so I could avoid being hospitalized up in their psych ward....after I answered HER questions...she asks me for my psycho doc's # and my therapist's # so she could get their input on whether to admit me....before she left to do her calls she told me if within a reasonable time the center would decide if I was to be hospitalized and they would err on the side of caution and "incarcerate" me....more TRAUMA...upstairs is just one big HORROR SHOW....i was there for 23.5 hours in May and was so verbally and mentally abused [i was suicidal in the first place!] that I was VERY TRAUMATIZED!!! when they released me....fortunately she was able to reach my psychodoc and he said no!...so I was released....MORE SHIT!!! I asked the nurse who gave me my going home instructions that I needed a cab as I had no $$s with me [like..really....who would think of even grabbing their wallet under the circumstances!!!] Can you believe she asked me if I had any money for a cab [:doh: !!!] I then told her I would need a voucher as all I had with me was my 2 rabbits blanket dress & robe....she astoundingly said that they didn't give out vouchers anymore [ I just heard another patient there ask and get one] I repeated my $$less state...she asked me if I had $$'s at home...I replied I did...she said then I could go into my building and go into my apt get $$s to pay cabbie....I tried to communicate that it was quite time consuming for me to do that....I was THEN asked AGAIN [yes she was a blonde!!!] if I wanted her to call a cab...I said YES....then played dumb from then on...cabbie came I got home and cabbie said "thaty'll be $4...me=you mean they didn't give you a voucher??? then said I would get on elevator go up 8 floors down entire hall to my apt a return with the 4 bucks...cabbie said noway he could wait that long and to just let it go...I was PISSED that the hospital stiffed him!!!! I am going to get a call from the Lt. of the detective dept...on Monday [I know his mom from the church I used to go to] I am starting an Investigation to verify that it was my sicko sister who made at least 4 calls [one 2:30 am friday + at least 2 more that day & the CORKER near 4 am Sat.] I heard that my cousin had saved tapes from her answering macine and that at least the Sat am message was rather garbled...cops were mad Sat. am for having had to drag me over to ER for what one said he thought was just a BIG MISUNDERSTANDING....and they were pissed because the center had insisted that they had to take me to ER even though the cops had found out that I was quite allright!!!! SOOOOO......how was your weekend last week????? Needless to say my PTSD symptoms have been OFF THE WALL!!! when I hear knocking [at my door or others'] I freak!!! as well as when I hear sirens!!!! and I live 8 floors above the bridge that emergency vehicles take most frequently to the hospital!!!! it's also set off horrendous nightmares & flashbacks of all sorts of trauma I've endured...my psycho doc called in a script for the new sleeping med just out that isn't supposed be addicting or with side effects of previous sleeping meds...I will just try it a few nights...it's called rozerom.....I will let you know what my experience is with
it......wildfirewildone:drugs:
:loopy: I have been trying to keep up on what's going on...on this forum...It's almost a week now...since my sicko sister harassed my cousin which ended up with me being dragged over to the local ER....I haven't posted about the absolutely bizarre events of last weekend....Last Sat. AM at 4:02 I was on my way to bed [exhausted but happy I was feeling very sleepy=SLEEP finally] when my phone rang...thinking to myself of who would be calling me at that hour...turns out it was the dispatcher from my local police dept. ....she said that a family member from Willoughby [I have a cousin there from my ex's side of the family--they are my TRUE family and this cousin and I are very close--they were happy I got a divorce and the ex stays away--YAY!!] had called and was concerned that I might harm myself...I really had to pull my self together so I would be able to answer the usual questions even though I was exhausted...I told her basically I was okay and the farthest thing from my mind was suicide...she said she wanted to send 2 officers over to talk with me....I said no problem...it was 40 minutes before they got here...meanwhile my body was screaming for SLEEP...The cops got here and I let them in...they too asked the usual questions & I answered them while looking them straight in the eye...the one cop then asked me all the questions in the rapidfire way...I again looked him in the eye and said a rapid set of no's...they said I was fine and they'd go but might have to come back...I said I am going to sleep[I was not going to force my body to remain awake for anybody!!] and I locked the door...turned on my 2 breathing machines and fan and conked out....at two points I was aware that someone was at knocking on a door...once I growled out a LOUD scream..I AM SLEEPING..I CAN'T GET TO THE DOOR!!!....conked out...2nd time...DRUGGIES GO AWAY OR I'LL CALL THE COPS!!!....BOOM the heavy security chain broke by what I now know to be from a fireman....flashing lights loud talking I forced myself into some state of awareness..[SCARED SH**LESS] begging to be left alone..let me sleep...come on I need my sleep....then I got threatened that if I didn't come with them 2 BIG BURLY firemen would drag me out...I looked up and saw two GIANT hulks silhoutted in my hallway...[TALK ABOUT TRAUMA!!!!] I again had to pull myself together and grabbed 2 rabbits & comfort blanket and put on my robe over the dress I had thrown on before falling into deep sleep...[thankfully I hadn't climbed into to bed with just my undies on as I usually do when exhausted!]and went with them via cot in ambulence...heard they had been out there for over an hour....as I slumped on the cot and into the twilight zone....got to the ER [3 minutes from here] heard ER staff asking why I was there...seeing I was just sleepy not suicidal....heard the cops say it was because the NORD CENTER [our county mental health center] had insisted I be brought there...Those asses!!! They use their power very unethically...they are the ones who do all the assessments in this county and they really like to SHOW their 'power" by often doing such asshole things!!! This time I was the "victim" [I hate using that word but no other would fit] of their PROFOUND STUPIDITY!!!! At the ER I got one of the "psych" rooms...no having to give up my dress and robe for one of those skimpy gowns either...no security guard posted...I rolled in and out to go to potty room a few times and the staff just waved back as I went past them...me=not a threat obviously!!!!....as if they hadn't done enough crap to me already...I had to have the blood test & pee test...all fine...THEN :angry-fla I had to WAIT!!!! for the clinician from the center to assess me...waited THREE HOURS!!! Believe me I was SOOOOO PISSED!!! but I had to "act nice" so I could avoid being hospitalized up in their psych ward....after I answered HER questions...she asks me for my psycho doc's # and my therapist's # so she could get their input on whether to admit me....before she left to do her calls she told me if within a reasonable time the center would decide if I was to be hospitalized and they would err on the side of caution and "incarcerate" me....more TRAUMA...upstairs is just one big HORROR SHOW....i was there for 23.5 hours in May and was so verbally and mentally abused [i was suicidal in the first place!] that I was VERY TRAUMATIZED!!! when they released me....fortunately she was able to reach my psychodoc and he said no!...so I was released....MORE SHIT!!! I asked the nurse who gave me my going home instructions that I needed a cab as I had no $$s with me [like..really....who would think of even grabbing their wallet under the circumstances!!!] Can you believe she asked me if I had any money for a cab [:doh: !!!] I then told her I would need a voucher as all I had with me was my 2 rabbits blanket dress & robe....she astoundingly said that they didn't give out vouchers anymore [ I just heard another patient there ask and get one] I repeated my $$less state...she asked me if I had $$'s at home...I replied I did...she said then I could go into my building and go into my apt get $$s to pay cabbie....I tried to communicate that it was quite time consuming for me to do that....I was THEN asked AGAIN [yes she was a blonde!!!] if I wanted her to call a cab...I said YES....then played dumb from then on...cabbie came I got home and cabbie said "thaty'll be $4...me=you mean they didn't give you a voucher??? then said I would get on elevator go up 8 floors down entire hall to my apt a return with the 4 bucks...cabbie said noway he could wait that long and to just let it go...I was PISSED that the hospital stiffed him!!!! I am going to get a call from the Lt. of the detective dept...on Monday [I know his mom from the church I used to go to] I am starting an Investigation to verify that it was my sicko sister who made at least 4 calls [one 2:30 am friday + at least 2 more that day & the CORKER near 4 am Sat.] I heard that my cousin had saved tapes from her answering macine and that at least the Sat am message was rather garbled...cops were mad Sat. am for having had to drag me over to ER for what one said he thought was just a BIG MISUNDERSTANDING....and they were pissed because the center had insisted that they had to take me to ER even though the cops had found out that I was quite allright!!!! SOOOOO......how was your weekend last week????? Needless to say my PTSD symptoms have been OFF THE WALL!!! when I hear knocking [at my door or others'] I freak!!! as well as when I hear sirens!!!! and I live 8 floors above the bridge that emergency vehicles take most frequently to the hospital!!!! it's also set off horrendous nightmares & flashbacks of all sorts of trauma I've endured...my psycho doc called in a script for the new sleeping med just out that isn't supposed be addicting or with side effects of previous sleeping meds...I will just try it a few nights...it's called rozerom.....I will let you know what my experience is with
it......wildfirewildone:drugs:
