How's Your Day Been? Each Day is Different, So Make Your Mark Daily

[Nam]

Party was awesome! Feeling good. Now, time to sleep.....:sleep:

 

[reallydown]

Nam--glad to hear your party was awesome; good stuff

my day was mainly all right...until i talked to my friends who had a great time last night at the fireworks...well...they did call me...i just couldn't...the "bang" sets me off...so i missed out

 

[wildfirewildone]

You are absolutely correct about the one person making a difference, and by moving forward, you can make a change to yourself and others. The most important thing though, is that you need to be fixed first, before you can help others, otherwise your mental capacity diminishes rapidly... trust me on that one, as I have done it before and learnt my lesson

:dont-know I see your point....about using my energy to work on getting myself "fixed" before I can help others....I know how I've suffered because of the lack of PTSD knowledge in my area and mistreated in ERs and on psych wards....and am very aware that many others [esp. in my old PTSD women's group] suffer the same crap too....Since I turned 50 [to be 52 in 3 weeks] I have become painfully aware that I can't sit around and not SAY something about all of this...If not me, then WHO???? I understand that it will take extra energy for me to tackle this....I can not just be SILENT!!!! It's quite a quandry for me and speaking up I know is putting my recovery in jeopordy...I keep coming back to the same thing...IF NOT ME, THEN WHO???? I am so saddened by the continued suffering of myself and others [tears are starting to flow...] it's all so very very sad and so unjustifiable that we with PTSD are so trampled upon....especially since NONE OF US did anything WRONG to have had our lives ripped asunder through our TRAUMAS....:dontknow: I just don't know what to do....the GOOD for ONE does NOT over rule the Good for the MANY!!! [more tears...] IMHO

wildfirewildone........PEACE

 

[anthony]

Wildfire, "IF NOT ME, THEN WHO?" is a great thought, but you will not help anyone if your not atleast 95% yourself, because there is a difference between caring, and actually having to do. I am not saying that you cannot help others, as I think the more that are helping the better, to be honest. What I don't encourage though is people attempting to help others when they have so many issues themselves, as what this does, is become another method to suppress one's own issues, instead of dealing with them, we hide behind trying to help others.

If you can say that you are 95% recovered from your PTSD, then I would highly encourage you to help others with PTSD wildfire. Can you say that honestly?

There is a difference between something like this forum, where in actual fact, the sufferer helps themselves, everyone else in the community just provides their experience and opinions vs. starting a community group or self awareness program, implementing it, putting others livelihoods in your hands to get better, is a huge burden if you still have so many burning issues yourself to get past. What ends up happening, is you try and help someone else, then you go home and crash for 3 days because the stress, anxiety, etc etc all come crashing down upon you.

If you walk away from this forum more than two or three times a year with symptoms, then your not in a position to help others directly with PTSD, instead you are better off playing an indirect role, provide your experience, your suffering, what you have done to make it this far, etc etc, and allow others to learn from your experience, but not give you a symptom outburst yourself.

It is like YA being a super moderator here. She is by no means at 95% running, and she doesn't say she is, and is honest about her current state, yet she helps out in an indirect way by helping me moderate this forum, but has no actual commitment placed upon her by myself to do anything. If she feels well enough, she helps, if not, she looks after her first. She is helping in an indirect method, and has escape to heal herself at all times.

If you commit to running groups and so forth, its not good enough for you not to turn up and run the group because your having a bad day or the like. The group would then be let down, things would get worse very quick, and your world would crash around you before it really began to open up. Its a cautious line that one must be 100% committed and dedicated to follow through, and be capable to follow through mentally, without an often risk of sickness or health issues.

 

[anthony]

Today has been just another PTSD free day for me. I did get a bit sick this arvo, though it wasn't PTSD related, I think more because I hadn't eaten all day, had late nights and was just getting run down in general. Had an hours sleep, had some dinner, and feeling funky now.

Hope everyone is continueing their own hard work on beating PTSD.

 

[purdyamos]

Hello all,

Reading through Anthony's comments about making yourself well are very apposite. I sometimes feel very self-indulgent and even selfish, but it's hard work retraining my brain and I have difficulty reminding myself that. I can't throw myself at the world the way healthy people can because I get ill and exhausted. I just don't have the resources yet.

My drugs are making me very sleepy and I hate not feeling productive. I've hardly done any art work this summer and feel a fraud. I spend the evenings on my other, local forum. I feel that I am making friends there, but I do come across as odd and intimidating, just because my 'normal' doesn't fit with other people's 'normal'. I've decided to be frank and unashamed of having my problems on this other forum, while remaining civil of course, and it appears to discomfort a lot of people. Sometimes emotive subjects come up and I find myself kindling and churning up with anger just before I go to bed which is not best practice! I also fret and get extremely panicky whenever someone disagrees with me. I'm far too sensitive about it, and suddenly I'm being threatened with death by my mother! It's like time travel sometimes, this flashback thing.

Hope everyone else is sleeping well, round the globe. (I still can't get my head round the time differences and clock. Can we have several clocks on the site, you know, New York, London, Tokyo kind of thing?!)

 

[anthony]

Yer, clocks would be an interesting thing to have purdy... that damn time difference can muck with you at times.

You are getting the picture though purdy, in that it is bloody hard work mentally fixing yourself, and that has physical restraints upon you, as working tough mentally all day wears you out physically also. It took me three years from start to finish to fight every step of the way past PTSD, but it worked, and I am great now, providing I maintain myself and surroundings at all times.

Purdy, keep up the great work... heal yourself... and do it at the pace you can comprehend and analyse, missing nothing or very little along the way. Well done.

 

[Nam]

Going on vacation y'all. I hope that you guys are all doing well. I'm not sure if I can get online so if you don't hear from me for a while, don't worry!

 

[YoungAndAngry]

It is like YA being a super moderator here. She is by no means at 95% running, and she doesn't say she is, and is honest about her current state, yet she helps out in an indirect way by helping me moderate this forum, but has no actual commitment placed upon her by myself to do anything. If she feels well enough, she helps, if not, she looks after her first. She is helping in an indirect method, and has escape to heal herself at all times.

And wow do I need that "escape" sometimes!
Somedays I just need to crawl under a rock and hide from all responsibilities!
The fact that I don't have a "commitment" to doing a certain thing at a certain time (aka: posting, moderating, replying) takes all the pressure off of helping.
Some days I feel like I could start a big support group...
...other days taking care of myself is a huge chore.
So I agree with Anthony that a person has to be at least 95% better before they should take on big commitments.

Funny this topic came up actually...
'cause my last couple of days have been sh*t

When I talked to the surgeon last week I was devastated to find out that the pain I'm experiencing is probally bone and nerve damage... the sugery isn't even going to give pain relief....
...this pain is forever.

As brave as I'm trying to be (couldn't even post the devasting news 'til now)
I don't know if I'm strong enough to deal with this physical pain for the rest of my life.

I am already on pain medication (for nerve pain) and it just barely dulls the ache and shooting pain.
And it wouldn't be so bad if the pain came and went... I might be a happier person if it did.
But it's a constant... constant hell.

Honestly I'm confused... what do I do?
The only thing that kept me motivated through the pain was the fact that sugery might possibly relieve it.
Now that I know this is something I am going to have to deal with for the rest of my life... I just want to go to the doc and request a life-time prescription for morphine...

 

[YoungAndAngry]

and here's a link to a site that will give you the time and date of places around the world.
It's the easiest one I've found... just click on "sort by country" and it should show the best format for us.

 

[purdyamos]

Thanks for the link Y & A. I'm so sorry to hear your news about the pain. I can't imagine how you must be feeling. I tend to comfort myself that the memory of physical pain doesn't last like psychological pain does. Nature is at least kind in that way. But to be told 'forever'...Have you tried acupuncture? (forgive me if you've already mentioned it, I haven't read all your posts). There's evidence it's good for pain, perhaps pain that can't be reached by other methods. But I expect you've already tried everything.

I've just had a kick in the teeth on my other forum. Last night I was called too transparent in a private message by a friend, which made me feel an oddball. Tonight there's been a veiled reference to me as the 'mad cat spinster' and I suddenly feel ostracised and freaky. I want to go on a day trip tomorrow but I'm so so sick of being on my own all the time and having no buddies to hang out with. I'm also already having nightmares about Christmas, which is a record even for me. It's only a few weeks before the stormclouds gather again and my stress levels go stellar. I'm going to be giving this site a workpout when that happens!

By the way, Nam, have a great holiday (you didn't say where, but may it be magnificent and restful).

 

[anthony]

YA... that is really crap news, your right. As you've been told this is lifelong now... I think you might want to start checking out alternative medicine, because what doctors often can't do, alternative medicine can do. I have seen it enough for my own eyes, and even had some things done myself, and it changed my whole outlook on how sticking a needle into a point on my body could make such a huge, significant impact in change for the better upon me. One example, scar tissue. I had surgery on my ankle in 2000 when I broke it fighting, and they had to pin it and plate it back together. Anyway, that ankle has scar tissue on it, which the multiple doctors answers where to go back under the knife and remove the excess scar tissue. See the irony there? Surgery causes scar tissue, so they want to do more surgery to remove it. Yes, go figure. Mind you, the second is keyhole surgery to remove it. Anyway, the more surgery you have on one place, medically and naturopathy factual, is that you increase the chance of cancer and other issues forming from that place.

So, I went and got acupuncture from an exceptional acupuncturist who is also highly trained in TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine), and lets just say, my scar tissue went away all from him just putting needles into key points within my body. YA... I used to think it was all shit myself... and I learnt for myself. I would say the same for you, go to a few sessions of acupuncture and see for yourself. You will be quite surprised how they make the pain go away from pushing certain nerves and bodily components to counter pain. A good acupuncturist will most likely fix your pain 99%. You may then have to return once per month or something for continual treatment, opposed to having to put prescription medication in your body and live with all those side effects and health issues medication causes.

I don't know how much they could fix you if your still having surgery, but I guarantee you now, yes big call, they if you find a highly experienced acupuncturist who is qualified in TCM, they will be able to make a lot of your pain go away naturally, and you will be able to get off all those medications for pain relief.