Hannah,
Welcome, glad you found us. Good place, good people. Many blessings to be found here.
I don't know if I can add anything useful or not. But thought I would give it a shot.
I was diagnosed with PTSD in 2000. Have had it as long as I can remember.
I also have a couple of close friends who have it also (one from childhood abuse, one from childhood abuse made worse by combat experience).
I hide. I am always saying I want to be left alone. Most of the time the world feels...abrasive (like steel wool on my skin).
I have very few friends. If people act like they are getting too close I blow them off and shut down. Even my sense of humor is a carefully constructed defense mechanism.
What I don't tell people is that alone sucks. Alone means crying in my room with nothing but a blanket and a razer blade for comfort. Alone means praying to whoever is up there listening to give me the strength to not cut myself this time. Alone is that place in my dreams, where all the demons live and the only sound is the crying. Alone is being so terrified that you don't even have the words to describe it (my vet. friend says all the time "Jack, you would hate me if you knew...")
The truth is that I would sell my soul to have someone around to hold me when the world hurts.
The only thing I can think of that might actually hurt more then PTSD is watching someone you love suffer with it. It is bad enough to feel this way myself. But when I think of the people I love...
You can't fix them but you sure as hell want to. Want to make it better and take away the hurt. Really, all you can do is get info and wait. And be there to hold his hand and hug him when he is ready.
Blessings and Hugs,
Jet
P.S. Don't take off the ring. It will say "I love you" and "for better or for worse" louder then ten phone calls.
Welcome, glad you found us. Good place, good people. Many blessings to be found here.
I don't know if I can add anything useful or not. But thought I would give it a shot.
I was diagnosed with PTSD in 2000. Have had it as long as I can remember.
I also have a couple of close friends who have it also (one from childhood abuse, one from childhood abuse made worse by combat experience).
I hide. I am always saying I want to be left alone. Most of the time the world feels...abrasive (like steel wool on my skin).
I have very few friends. If people act like they are getting too close I blow them off and shut down. Even my sense of humor is a carefully constructed defense mechanism.
What I don't tell people is that alone sucks. Alone means crying in my room with nothing but a blanket and a razer blade for comfort. Alone means praying to whoever is up there listening to give me the strength to not cut myself this time. Alone is that place in my dreams, where all the demons live and the only sound is the crying. Alone is being so terrified that you don't even have the words to describe it (my vet. friend says all the time "Jack, you would hate me if you knew...")
The truth is that I would sell my soul to have someone around to hold me when the world hurts.
The only thing I can think of that might actually hurt more then PTSD is watching someone you love suffer with it. It is bad enough to feel this way myself. But when I think of the people I love...
You can't fix them but you sure as hell want to. Want to make it better and take away the hurt. Really, all you can do is get info and wait. And be there to hold his hand and hug him when he is ready.
Blessings and Hugs,
Jet
P.S. Don't take off the ring. It will say "I love you" and "for better or for worse" louder then ten phone calls.
