Sexual Assault Hypersexuality After Abuse

[James McGregor]

hi all

As a child of around 7, another older child was sexual with me, my T classified this as abuse. Following the event for many years i would say i was hypersexual, i was totally obsessed with sex for many many years. Even though i hated it, and when i became sexually active - i would absolutely crave sex and the idea of it - but the actual act itself felt uncomfortable and unnatural. For the last 5 or 6 years however i think ive went the other way, i am the opposite - cant stand to think about it or be involved in it. Just wondered if this has been a problem for others?

Thanks

 

[Friday]

My hyper sexuality following rape & sexual assault was useful to me, rather than a problem. But I was also an adult the first time, which undoubtedly changes matters.

Both hyper & hypo // promiscuity or sexual anorexia // intense interest or intense revulsion ... Are very, very common, however. Including switching back and forth between the two.

 

[The Albatross]

I'm same as Friday... and also have had both. I have been celibate in marriage for a very long time now due to sexual dysfunction from both a physical issue and the sexual assaults/rapes (all of which were over the age of 18)... BUT from 19 to 27 I was hyper sexual.

 

[Isobel Wolf]

Yes. Hypersexual, never enjoyed it. Enjoyed the power. Thought sex would lead to kind treatment. It was a way of making people like me without having to be close and to self-harm. Was sexually aggressive, to the point that I'd erase the person for the act(s), then the moment I was alone I'd cry my eyes out. Real intimacy would shut that off like a switch. I know that arousal now is actually fear. Body can't tell the difference. Every sexual encounter like watching a horror movie outside myself.

Buddhism would say loss of desire is a good thing. But it feels like the world has become hypersexual around me like a Bosch orgy and the thought of being invaded again whether or not my choice turns my stomach.

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

I can relate to hypersexuality after abuse, in the years following mine, I can never me intimate in a feeling sense with a partner, due to inability trust someone getting emotionally close. So I often especially when I was having a bad time would seek out the most extreme sexual situations possible like group sex. On-on-ones I made me feel bad, but a group with me as the subject made me feel better, so long as it was constant, with no breaks in between. I think it was like opium, it repeatedly activated the pleasure centers in my brain, and thus gave me the same kind of relief one gets from opioid based drugs or alcohol. I was put on Naltrexone and it seems to take away the effects this kind of behavior gave me.

 

[James McGregor]

thanks everyone. ive found the term "abuse" hard to accept, because the perpetrator was only a couple of years older and still a child himself - but it does seem to explain my twisted view of sex ever since i think. im just not sure what to do about it however....

 

[The Albatross]

Write it out, on or off line James... if you want feedback start a topic just like you've done here.

 

[PinCushionPrincess]

I can relate to this. For me, I didn't have sex for a long time after I was abused, and when I started, I went hyper. I went out looking to get it, and was fairly indiscrimmimate. For me, it was about control over my body. I had lost control when I was attacked, and now choosing to have sex with someone of my volition was a way of exercising control over my sexuality again. There's another side to it too - now I'm in a long term, loving relationship, I find I want sex more than he does, because for me sex is the only way I have known of gaining validity and approval. So I have been working to understand that if my OH doesn't want to have sex after a long day at work it's not because he doesn't love me or find me attractive. It's deeply ingrained though...
sometimes my own desire frightens me, and the drive is threatening. But it helps (I find) not to beat yourself up about it. If you recognise it as a result of what happened and know it's a perfectly normal and valid reaction (as all reactions are tbh) I find that helps in sorting it out in my mind

 

[James McGregor]

i think for me after i actually did start to be sexually active, i hated the experience, so i went hyper to try and make it feel "good" if that makes sense. it never did feel good and years later i just want nothing to do with it at all, the thought of sex makes me feel ill

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

After being molested as a child, I grew up thinking that was my only value. That's all I knew how to offer.

I went through quite a few years of hyper sexuality, and was married 4 times.

Now, the thought of sex sickens me.

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

thanks everyone. ive found the term "abuse" hard to accept, because the perpetrator was only a c...

It does not matter what age the perpetrator is, abuse is abuse, rape is rape, sexual abuse is sexual abuse., in 1978 one of the many rapes I have experienced one of them involved a teenager younger than me.

 

[Deleted member 37474]

I don't know if you would call it hyper sexual or not. Maybe hyper tease sexual, if that is a thing. I would do pretty much "whatever" as long as I felt in control and that it wouldn't involve sexual intercourse or things that I won't do. It did help me learn that most men in this world are not rapists. Only the one that raped me did whatever he wanted to. All of the others could stop or give alternative options to satisfy their needs. I look back at it now and regret that I felt the need to be physical with so many people. I am curious as to what is considered normal in a non rape victim's 20's. Also, I have never been able to truly connect during sex with the man that I love. I find this sad because I was raped by the second person who I had been with and he was a "friend." And now my therapist pointed out that he was a predator and it is obvious that he had planned it. That Has turned into a whole new ugly thing to process.