About 30 minutes ago my next door neighbor came to my family's home. My dad opened the door and she was crying. She said her husband tried to choke her and that she can't do it anymore. They've lived next door to us for about two years and have young children. My parents speak to them and have been helping them with groceries and driving them a few places after their car broke down. Although the wife and children are polite, I have not trusted the husband since they moved in after I heard him screaming and cursing at his young daughter one morning. There was so much hatred and anger in his tone that I was even afraid. I've only said hello to them every now and then, but mostly kept my distance. Tonight when I saw her at the door and heard him cursing at her I began to get scared. My father stepped outside to speak to her and I asked him to stay inside. She kept asking him to call the police, but when her husband heard her he yelled, "Don't call the f**king police!" She was standing behind my dad and I kept thinking, "If he comes up our stairway and into our home there's nothing we can do." And I started hyperventilating. Two years ago I saw another neighbor murdered in front of my home by her abusive ex-husband. It took a few months to stop having flashbacks and panic attacks, but I was doing better by 2015. Tonight everything came rushing back. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know if calling the police would escalate the situation or if he'd try to come in our home, or if he'd hurt her or my dad. I was so scared. The neighbor said he didn't have a gun and that he wasn't going to hurt us, but I told her I was sorry and it wasn't her fault. I didn't want to turn her away and leave her outside, but I was so scared for my family and my own safety. I was afraid if he hurt my dad or her, then he'd come after us for being there. I was also afraid for their children and wondering how they were doing hearing all this happening. Then my mom came downstairs and I told her what was happening, but she was acting like it wasn't a big deal. My mom is the main person they talk to and I was scared if she went out there to help she might get hurt.
Then I started crying and asking them why they were going outside because other than calling the police there was nothing we could do. The more they told me it's alright and go upstairs, the more I began to hyperventilate then I started screaming. I was crying and telling them there was nothing we could do and how I saw the neighbor shot to death in front of her children, and there was nothing to be done other than call the police. I was freaking out because I felt like they were putting my family in danger to help the neighbor when we could have been calling the police. My parents were really dismissive and treated me like I was crazy and ignored me. Eventually my dad came inside and locked the door. The neighbors kept arguing and the wife tried to get as much distance from him as possible. I wanted to call the police, but I was so afraid of what he'd do to her or to us, or his kids if they showed up. I got a drink of water and went back into my room.
I've been doing everything I can to stay calm and not let my fears get to me, but I felt like I was in danger tonight. I felt powerless and angry. I thought the only thing I can do is call 911, but tomorrow or later there's no way for me to know if he won't hurt me or my family. The people in my neighborhood will hurt you or kill you, or vandalize your things if they even think you got them arrested. Until I can move I have to deal with this.
I'm just tired of feeling unsafe and like I have no support. I feel like my parents are too trusting and that the neighbor (the husband) can not be trusted, and by interacting with them they are putting our family in danger.
But I don't know if I'm worrying because this is a real threat or because of the PTSD. It feels like both.
Then I started crying and asking them why they were going outside because other than calling the police there was nothing we could do. The more they told me it's alright and go upstairs, the more I began to hyperventilate then I started screaming. I was crying and telling them there was nothing we could do and how I saw the neighbor shot to death in front of her children, and there was nothing to be done other than call the police. I was freaking out because I felt like they were putting my family in danger to help the neighbor when we could have been calling the police. My parents were really dismissive and treated me like I was crazy and ignored me. Eventually my dad came inside and locked the door. The neighbors kept arguing and the wife tried to get as much distance from him as possible. I wanted to call the police, but I was so afraid of what he'd do to her or to us, or his kids if they showed up. I got a drink of water and went back into my room.
I've been doing everything I can to stay calm and not let my fears get to me, but I felt like I was in danger tonight. I felt powerless and angry. I thought the only thing I can do is call 911, but tomorrow or later there's no way for me to know if he won't hurt me or my family. The people in my neighborhood will hurt you or kill you, or vandalize your things if they even think you got them arrested. Until I can move I have to deal with this.
I'm just tired of feeling unsafe and like I have no support. I feel like my parents are too trusting and that the neighbor (the husband) can not be trusted, and by interacting with them they are putting our family in danger.
But I don't know if I'm worrying because this is a real threat or because of the PTSD. It feels like both.
