I Am Celibate. Sex Has Impacted My Life. Is It Possible To Have Everything Else? I'm Lonely

[safenow]

When I finally got the help from the cops was when I came home from work one night to find a pair of my panties in the middle of my bed with a bottle of vitamin B12 on top them with semen on my pillow. The police told me how easy it was to get into the house, and helped me get out safely.

Anyway, I need to go ground so I can go to bed. Talk to you tomorrow.

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

Bless you all for telling your stories. I, too, am celibate. I've been single for almost 18 years after 4 marriages. Yes, to my disbelief this many years later. Who was that person who made those choices?

I have touch issues when it comes to anything related to sex. I learned to hug willingly and openly when I had my children, and married into the Greek community; they are big on hugging! We had two children, the second one, a little girl, was born with severe cerebral palsy, and many health problems. Few marriages survive that kind of stress. I had my tubes tied at that point.

I was so afraid I wouldn't want to touch my own children that I vowed to breastfeed, and didn't even allow a bottle in the house until I was sure I could accept the beautiful intimacy of nursing my child. I discovered that under the right circumstances, I can hug, and accept hugs.

I was an idiot and did not always insist on condom use, and several years ago, with blood tests discovered I have genital herpes. I hadn't had sex in 6 years! No breakouts to my knowledge, so I had no idea. My doctor tested only because of bouts of itching only. It shattered me, and made me feel so dirty. Now I know that 1 in 5 adults tests positive. Doesn't make me feel any better.

At this point in my life, sex would just be too complicated and painful due to arthritis, fibromyalgia, and distrust of men in general and their motives. I am happy and satisfied with some good memories, and that's enough for me.

 

[winterose]

I've chosen my healing over relationship and intimacy. Later if it happens I find someone after I been working for awhile. And my goals have been met. And I created my own security for life, then I'll be open to share it with someone. If it doesn't happen I can be happy with having a small group of friends to go do things with.

 

[Britt.f7]

My healing definitely involves my husband, and even my kids to a point. I'm learning to be loved and feel loved in a safe environment. From the beginning of my marriage my husband told me that he was not going to treat me badly just because that was something I was "comfortable" with. Isn't it a shame that we tend to be drawn to people that hurt us? He refused to be that person. My family (dad & brother in particular) think he is not "masculine" enough(translate, macho). I don't care. He takes care of me and our family. It really shouldn't be so difficult though to stay in a healthy relationship. Yet, it has been for me.

 

[Bill Dickerson]

I left my wife 16 years ago and haven't had sex since. Man counting the years seems weird. I loved my wife when I left her it was we just couldn't make it work together. I was always busy working or raising my kids so I only had just a few dates.

The last few years I have been busy working on myself so lonely was sometimes better. I do miss having someone other than my dogs to talk to. Of course now I'm busy taking care of my Mom who is 81 and feistier than most. She can never remember what kind of sandwich she was making for me so it's always a crap shoot. LOL She rearranges the bathroom closet about every six months so it's like three card monty.

I can never remember why I walked into this darn room either so I guess we are even.

I concentrate on getting by day to day. I don't hold any illusions a lady wants someone who doesn't have so many issues and at least a little more than a SSDI check.

 

[winterose]

Meh, I got to disagree, I know women who would settle with a solid man with a heart then a wallet. Wallets don't keep things going when the crap hits the fan. Carachter does.

 

[HOME ALONE]

As I myself am on disability now, I understand the financial facet of dealing with PTSD.

I was once quite well off and had an amazing career but that time has past, for now. I couldn't care less if a person has money. I have been on both sides of the coin and I have found more REAL people on this side.

I just want honesty and mutual respect, priceless yet very rarely available.

I am happy to hear from a male on this topic. I hope you realize that what you see as a roadblock, others might see a door where none existed before.

Thank You for showing me that there are men who suffer with the same dilemma. It gives me hope that I might find a companion someday after all.

 

[Bill Dickerson]

You might be right. When women are younger they seek men who can provide a stable family life and you must to be able to support them. Maybe somebody who doesn't need a man might want a life partner.

It's the old hunter vs gatherer thing.

She would probably have to real mean to put up with me though. LOL

 

[winterose]

Would that be a geometric mean, harmonic mean, a random variable or a standard deviation?:hilarious:

 

[HOME ALONE]

Although I am on disability, I do work. I am fortunate to have a career that brought me to a level where i can pick and choose which events/calls I choose to work. I have the best job in my field in the city I live in.

I have a very and supportive boss and fellow crew members that have travelled this road alongside me. I work for the world's most elite entertainers and take care of them and their every little need while they are here. My next show will be Rhianna. Either way, working or not, I am experiencing stuff most of the world does not.

My life waffles between amazingly or intolerarably unique. I am unimpressed by status or money and that is why I have been able to be employed in the capacity I have been for so long.


What impresses me are people like Romeo Dallaire or Richard Lewis, the kind of people who cut through the crap, question their role in the world, and inspire others to do the same. They are survivors.

 

[winterose]

I am unimpressed by status or money and that is why I have been able to be employed in the capacity I have been for so long.

I'm not either. Saw it in Pebble. Not impressed. You are so lucky you have a job like that and support. Where do I find that job? They hiring? lol

 

[HOME ALONE]

Lol...it's one of those jobs you spend 20 years preparing for in many different fields and not one that is typically advertised. There are only one or 2 "me"'s in each venue so that usually means 2 positions available per state/province.

300 Backstages passes don't make stimulating company.