I am really struggling

[Scarlet13]

So, it all just feels too much.
I have been struggling with benzo withdrawal effects 11 mos that never seem to end. These effects come in waves and they are diff than my PTSD, but they make it worse. It has been 5 yrs of being ill from psych med sensitivity.
My husband has been lying to me.
I am excited to start marriage therapy, but don't know what she can even do.
I am excited to see my T, but I don't think I deserve her. I did a post about it, but it was difficult to explain.
My parents were both extremely narcissistic, my step father was a psychopath (and no, not officially diagnosed, but seriously he was.)
I have been lied to my whole life.
Must husband hurt me greatly.
I am just so tired of being manipulated.
I just want to not be on this earth where nothing is sacred, where people just hurt you.
If at least the benzo withdrawal effects could stop so I could have my identity back.
I just feel trapped.

 

[ladee]

And struggling is a good thing !! I know you are exhausted, and you hurt, and your body is weary... but you are struggling... that means you are trying to 'get out of something holding you back'.... and yes, this is a long journey, not an easy one... and we learn more than we ever wanted to know about our self... there are crappy and ugly things going on in the world we live in... and crappy and ugly things were done to us or we wouldn't be here.... but there are very good and caring people on this planet, and many of them are right here on this forum... at your disposal... to share, and encourage and validate... to tell you , I've been where you are, and it's NOT hopeless, and it doesn't last forever and ever.... it does get better. We get better... just keep letting us know what is going on, and let us walk with you... you are not alone... and I do understand what you are feeling.... you only have to do this five minutes at a time.... not forever... just right now, this minute.... it does change, hang on.... you've got this...

 

[EveHarrington]

Hugs.

 

[419can.dance]

My heart is hurt for you! I’m so sorry! Hugs!

 

[Scarlet13]

I am doing better now. You just have to move thru it.

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

(((@Scarlet13 )))
I am glad you are doing better! All you can do is take one day at a time... And sometimes less. Just don't quit, and you will succeed.
You ARE succeeding!
:hug::hug::hug: