Tonight I made a stand! I have always struggled with being co-dependent. Jadebear and I had a long chat and that was just kind of thrown in the mix.
My husband has been noticing and commending me for telling my step-father and mother that "I'm sorry but it is not my problem and I can't solve it for you" when they try to rope me in to taking care of my mother when she is drunk or in bed depressed.
Tonight I made a stand with my friend. I had quit our partnership yesterday and she is understandably having a tough time with it. Today she started playing mind games with me in her texts. Trying to manipulate me, wanting me to feel sorry for her, wanting me to come running over to hold her. She'd say one thing then retract it and say another. We both suffer from PTSD and have been quite co-dependent the last 9 months which is part of the reason I quit.
Tonight I set boundaries with her. I first told her how capable she is, how sweet, loving and deserving of my trust. I told her that she has my love, my support, my friendship and my trust. I explained that we have been living in a co-dependent friendship and that I won't do it anymore. I told her that I will help her when I can and when it is healthy for both of us. I told her that when I can't do something that I will tell her so, but may choose not to tell her why. It was all said in love and respect. I hope she takes it that way.
Anyway, my husband is proud of me. He was also so appreciative of the nice dinner I had waiting for him when he got home. Fresh veggies from our garden, freshly dug and roasted red potatoes and Grilled chicken with his wonderful homemade BBQ sauce. Sorry....it's just been so long since I've cooked for him. I guess another accomplishment! I have always loved being a homemaker and hated working outside the home, though I will be happy with a part time job when the time comes.
Anyway.....feeling good that I stood up for myself and my friend to make a healthier relationship! Maybe that awful role play my T had me do of pushing the rapist away was more self empowering than I thought???? Hmmm....;o)
My husband has been noticing and commending me for telling my step-father and mother that "I'm sorry but it is not my problem and I can't solve it for you" when they try to rope me in to taking care of my mother when she is drunk or in bed depressed.
Tonight I made a stand with my friend. I had quit our partnership yesterday and she is understandably having a tough time with it. Today she started playing mind games with me in her texts. Trying to manipulate me, wanting me to feel sorry for her, wanting me to come running over to hold her. She'd say one thing then retract it and say another. We both suffer from PTSD and have been quite co-dependent the last 9 months which is part of the reason I quit.
Tonight I set boundaries with her. I first told her how capable she is, how sweet, loving and deserving of my trust. I told her that she has my love, my support, my friendship and my trust. I explained that we have been living in a co-dependent friendship and that I won't do it anymore. I told her that I will help her when I can and when it is healthy for both of us. I told her that when I can't do something that I will tell her so, but may choose not to tell her why. It was all said in love and respect. I hope she takes it that way.
Anyway, my husband is proud of me. He was also so appreciative of the nice dinner I had waiting for him when he got home. Fresh veggies from our garden, freshly dug and roasted red potatoes and Grilled chicken with his wonderful homemade BBQ sauce. Sorry....it's just been so long since I've cooked for him. I guess another accomplishment! I have always loved being a homemaker and hated working outside the home, though I will be happy with a part time job when the time comes.
Anyway.....feeling good that I stood up for myself and my friend to make a healthier relationship! Maybe that awful role play my T had me do of pushing the rapist away was more self empowering than I thought???? Hmmm....;o)
