BPD I don’t like having EUPD

[Teal]

I feel really bad about having it. It makes me feel like a bad person. I always feel rejected by others, and alone, and I remember being hurt when I was a child whenever I feel unloved.

Do you feel unloved, too? Whenever I feel unloved I find it difficult to cope with being an adult. I want to relive my childhood, and pretend that I’m worthy of being looked after. Pretend that I’m entitled to the love that I felt I didn’t receive as a child when I needed it. As if being a child again might convince people to love me more.

I’m really sad about being locked up as a child. I was confused and desperate to escape the bathroom. I’d scream and scream and scream to be let out, but I wasn’t allowed out until my mum came home. It was really uncomfortable, and it hurt, and I didn’t understand why I always ended up being dragged in there.

Does anyone else feel helpless sometimes? Like you need someone to look after you, and talk to you like a child, and pretend you’re loveable?

 

[Soogiles]

Yes i experienced this a lot it’s a horrible anxious negative feeling. I’ve been told I no longer need to feel like this as I’m not that child anymore but things in life trigger you when some people are difficult to deal with. I know how you are feeling.