I Don't Exactly Have Ptsd

[scout86]

The problem with lying to your therapist is that it DOES limit their ability to help you. Maybe you should try it again and this time be honest. Actually being honest is a pretty good idea in general.

Have you ever apologized to the people you hurt?

 

[Deleted member 29763]

Have you ever apologized to the people you hurt?

Yes, but they're still terrified of me. These people want nothing to do with me, which I can understand.

 

[Seagreen]

Leave the past behind. You can't change any of that now. You can't make up for the things you did but that doesn't mean you are still the same person today. Your past does not define you as a person. People can change if they really wish to.

Do seek help. Are you still experiencing sadistic urges? If so be honest in order to receive the best treatment for you.

It's rare for a situation to arise where someone gets to be the hero. Is it the recognition seek? If so who do you want recognition from? Can you find other ways to fulfill this need? Being successful in your career or hobbies?

Helping people can be a subtle act. Help someone carry their groceries, give a genuine compliment, tape money to a vending machine. Little things often make someone's day. You don't need to be a hero to make the world a better place.

Good luck to you.

 

[WillyKat]

I agree with the other posters. Seek help.

And here's why. You express yourself very well and you have a remarkable viewpoint that you just don't hear everyday. Consider the possibility that telling your story might help someone, even if its only one person. Maybe you've found a path, a purpose.

 

[Neverthesame]

If you really want to get better. Seek help. Be honest with your therapist, or else there is no point.

As far as fixing past wrongs is concerned. Nope, sorry mate. Life doesn't work that way. You could single handedly cure cancer, end world hunger and invent the longer lasting light bulb. The people in your life who you have hurt, will still be hurt.

As for being a hero. You really want to be hero? Or are you looking for a positive celebrity?

Hero's happen every day to someone. Whether it be helping out at a homeless shelter or soup kitchen. Volunteer at a school, hospitals, care homes, etc, etc. Make a positive impact in people's lives. Will anyone ever point you out of a crowd and say "Hey, there's whats-his-name. He does (insert amazing feat)? Probably not.

But you'll have done some real good. That is all that matters.

 

[hodge]

Faustin, good for you for admitting some of your wrongs. I don't buy your whole story, though. If you truly want to redeem yourself, you will get your butt into therapy and be honest and figure out why the h@ll you ever wanted to do those things. Then, if you figure that out and find your way to a truly conscientious and compassionate life, then maybe I will be your friend. Sorry if I am being harsh, but I've been through too much and I don't take bulls**t kindly.

 

[Jen93]

I don't mean to be rude or whatever, but I kind of want to challenge your thinking on why you think you're the reason people have ptsd. Have people specifically come up to you and said "I have PTSD because of you?" If so, what are you actually doing here? Are you supporting someone with PTSD? Or looking for a way to help a friend with PTSD?

If you actually caused someone's PTSD, there's not much you can do; this condition is permanent. I'm just a little confused as to what you think the forum is here to help you with if you're not being a supporter or have ptsd yourself.

 

[shimmerz]

if I suspected someone found out about my crimes and was stupid enough to report it then I would frame them.

This,

"make sure he doesn't try anything." I mean really, what the f*ck is up with that?

is up with that.

If you don't see that AND you lied to your therapist, then I have no idea what you are attempting to accomplish. Redemption is about honesty and really looking at past wrongs, and it hurts. It seems pretty simple to me. Until you really 'get' that you f*cked people over, probably ruined some lives, then I would leave the hero status alone. Of course nobody believes you.

 

[anonymous]

What is it you're wanting from this forum exactly? No one here can offer you redemption if that's what you're looking for?
In response to someone else asking what you are looking for here, you said

I want to be good in something other than causing pain.

I don't really understand how you're hoping to achieve that by coming here to this forum? I wondered are you wanting to be here to support people who have been hurt in ways in which you hurt people, to somehow try and make up for it, but your posts read as wanting support for yourself - this may not be the best forum to get that support as it is a forum for those who have suffered trauma and their supporters, of which you don't seem to be saying you are either?

Best option for you is probably to go and get some real help for yourself in the real world. Find a new therapist and get honest.

 

[anthony]

This is a troll, whom tried to post the identical post as a guest, then registered to regurgitate. No respectable human being comes here as an abuser, seeking approval, and whom doesn't have PTSD by admission. Troll all over it. Banned.