I feel like my issues are too complex to recover from

[Hojay]

Process of elimination, "doing this for a long time," I don't know who you think you're speaking to on here.

Before I go, I'd like to briefly go back to the title of your thread: you feel like your issues are too complex to recover from.

Maybe it's not so much that they're too complex, but that there is something mitigating your recovery that neither you nor your therapist have adequately addressed. It could be interesting to explore possible PDs with her/him that are interfering with your ability to tackle recovery. Especially NPD or even just narcissistic traits (not the disorder as such) are consistently resistant to treatment, and it'd be interesting to look into whether some of the logic you have at least applied here with us could be pointing in that direction. I'm not here to diagnose you, how could I? Look it up, see what resonates (don't be put off by the current hype around the disorder and dig deeply, what you find on overt NPD is not the most common way it manifests.) If you're really worried you're problems are too complex to solve, the belief system that made you write that sentence might be a good place to start looking. So maybe bring that up with your T and see what comes of it.

 

[Deleted member 39476]

"Liking" that because you're continuing to go to therapy, even if it seems like you aren't getting anywhere. My own experience had been that that actually HAS made a difference, even though it doesn't always seem like it.

It's basically the only thing that is consistent in my life, so even if I completely gave up hope of getting better I would probably still go just for the sake of it. I want to believe that I'm getting better.

Maybe it's not so much that they're too complex, but that there is something mitigating your recovery that neither you nor your therapist have adequately addressed. It could be interesting to explore possible PDs with her/him that are interfering with your ability to tackle recovery. Especially NPD or even just narcissistic traits (not the disorder as such) are consistently resistant to treatment, and it'd be interesting to look into whether some of the logic you have at least applied here with us could be pointing in that direction. I'm not here to diagnose you, how could I? Look it up, see what resonates (don't be put off by the current hype around the disorder and dig deeply, what you find on overt NPD is not the most common way it manifests.) If you're really worried you're problems are too complex to solve, the belief system that made you write that sentence might be a good place to start looking. So maybe bring that up with your T and see what comes of it.

I just took a personality inventory test that I'm waiting for the results on because my therapist thinks the same thing you do, there's something more going on that neither of us are fully aware of. It's almost certainly a really bad case of borderline, that's what a psychiatrist I saw was suggesting even though I only saw them once. Narcissism I don't think so, I could maybe fit a couple of the traits if you squint, BPD I nail every trait hard. This is kind of what I meant by too complex though, not that there is too much going on, just that the things going on all prevent each other from getting better so I'm trapped indefinitely until I can figure out how to unravel them.

 

[Hojay]

Ah good you took a test already. It’ll be interesting what it spits out. If there’s enough to base a diagnosis on it, it might just be the common denominator that will help unravel it all. Borderline “borders” on many different PDs, so it’s not surprising that you may display symptoms across the spectrum at times.

Just FYI, it would have been helpful for everyone on here who’s been trying to help to know that there’s a possible PD diagnosis looming. It would make it a lot easier to interpret, approach, and advise. Not that you necessarily have one, but if your therapist is wondering, it puts some things in perspective.

Good luck. I don’t think your issues are too complex to solve. You just don’t have all the variables yet.

 

[mumstheword]

Personally? I'd be putting my money on Complex-ptsd, as by its very nature it's "complex" hence the name, which certainly can, and frequently encompasses traits of bpd. I think you're a little too honest and self aware to be a straight up bpd, which in my opinion is usually undiagnosed or misdiagnosed complex-ptsd anyway. A good way to assess this for yourself would be to get hold of Pete Walker's book Complex PTSD from surviving to thriving.

 

[EveHarrington]

Process of elimination - Wikipedia...

Holy shit, are you for f*cking real?!?

No offense, but you are ONLY 21. By definition this means you have NOT had the time to put in MAJOR work into MULTIPLE healing modalities.

Really, I’m not here to rag on the young’uns, but seriously, I’m pointing out a fact that is iron-clad and can’t be argued with. (Hurrah, something you CANNOT shoot down unless you like own a Delorean or some crap like that! Which, you don’t.)

So really, get another decade of healing under your belt, and then people will be sliiiiiiiiightly more inclined to listen to this Drabble, but not by much, considering there are people here who are three times your age, easy, and are still fighting.

So go on being a precious snowflake. This doesn’t cut it in the real world.

 

[joeylittle]

I'd be putting my money on Complex-ptsd, as by its very nature it's "complex" hence the name, which certainly can, and frequently encompasses traits of bpd.

There's no criteria A trauma history, as far as we've been told. Something's clearly going on with the OP, but it's hard to tell how much it may be influenced by the (recent?) breakup with the girlfriend, or other life changes and/or stressors. The teenage years are also hell on wheels all by themselves, just because of the hormones and the neurological development that's going on. The OP isn't so far past that period, that any history of mental struggles couldn't be chalked up to a combination of late-teen mood swings and life stressors.

Unless we were given more trauma history and I missed it, which is entirely possible.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

I must say I agree with Joey, though this was a fast thread and tough to read, there is still a lot going on, and changing

Instability is quite normal in that time, though one thing I've noticed personally is that being fatalistic or even realistic can lead to worsening, while being a dumb optimist might help. Gives you a bit more of a push. Also, time heals all

Btw, Joey, since you mentioned developement, here is the source Mapping cortical change across the human life span For the whole how long does it take for the brain to stop pruning so much and all that jazz

 

[mumstheword]

There's no criteria A trauma history, as far as we've been told. Something's clearly going on with...

You don't think losing a parent at 4 is traumatic? Most likely the primary carer parent? And he did mention that he'd experienced multiple traumas.

 

[DharmaGirl]

For someone who is dissociating 24/7, you are concentrating, reading and writing quite well. I can't do that while dissociating.

 

[Sideways]

@mumstheword - the OP stated that his mother left him at 4, but did not provide further details. He also made reference to a trauma after the end of a recent relationship. Everything beyond that is speculative, and I don’t think it’s helpful to anyone to make assumptions about what the OP has, or hasn’t been through in his life.

At the start of the thread, the OP states that he was initially diagnosed with “CPTSD”, which is not an “official DSM” diagnosis, but which does frequently get used by Ts as a diagnosis as a form of “official DSM” ptsd. I think it’s fair to take the OP at his word there.

The OP has been invited a few times to elaborate on his trauma history, but has decided not to. That’s his prerogative, and I can understand that perhaps, given the friction in this thread, he may be disinclined to do so at this point.

@jameson - providing details of your trauma is entirely at your discretion, but you may find that it helps people understand where you’re coming from a little better. It may not. Either way, I hope you get some clarity about your diagnosis soon. That’s pretty important to any recovery strategy. I hope that the T who gave you the impression that you could anticipate a recovery within 2 years is not the same T now assessing your diagnosis!

 

[mumstheword]

I didn't just "make assumptions" I specifically advised he read Pete Walkers book to see if it resonated. I don't think it's helpful to put "personality disorder" in a young man's head. I was going through borderline type symptoms at his age and when I got a BPD diagnosis it was anything but helpful.

All my symptoms of that cleared up as I was able to address my trauma history and learned behaviours and projections and emotional neglect from my parents. So I think you need to be very careful passing judgement and trying to put a BPD label to a young impressionable young man, which can lead to very harmful and neglectful treatment by professionals, which it did in my case. Just read the damn book @jameson. I know it will be helpful. You don't have to give all your power over to others in defining you, you can.take what's helpful and leave the rest.

 

[Sideways]

I didn't just "make assumptions"

Sorry, you’re right. It’s just the conversation seemed to be spinning out into a “Lets all speculate the OP’s diagnosis” (which I’m not a huge fan of) and I (unfairly) highlighted your post there. Sorry!