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I Hate These Kind Of Days!!

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Me Myself and I

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Today is one of those days where I just feel so lonely, sad and depressed!!

I see people my age doing a lot of things, and me just sitting at home scared of going outside and having one of my attacks in public!!

I know it's wrong!! I know I shouldn't be thinking this way!! But I just can't help it :( ...

I feel so bad!! I just sometimes think that it's not fair!! I've been through a lot already and PTSD isn't just helping at the moment!!
 
Every time I try to fight it, I wig out. It always feels like I should just lace up my boots and do what everybody else is doing. Then, when I start taking action, my brain goes, "No! No! You're not stable!" It's sad because sometimes I think there is nothing wrong with me and other times I think that I need to rebalance and heal myself. It gets monotonous after a while, but as long as I'm still going, I feel better. I wish I could be completely confident in myself, but I'm just doing what is coming naturally.
 
I understand your feelings. I currently have myself in such a panic, when a few short hours ago, I had everything under control. All it took was trying to explain to my husband's doctor's office that I think there is something going on with HIM, and I got all tongue tied and terribly frightened. Next thing I know, I am reliving being afraid of my ex-husband . . . Why can't I be normal??
 
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