I apologize for being less than complete in my descriptions of the problems in my marriage. I will try to be brief yet explain the problems and answer the questions posed in the above replies.
The underlying cause for all of the problems (ALL) is a lack of communication and her easy ability to throw her integrity with me away time and time again. The laundry is not a reason for divorce, ten times the laundry is not a cause for divorce, 100 hundred times with discussion and promises for improvement and refusal to accept that she cannot or will not solve the problem or allow me to take on the problem for myself is the reason for divorce.
The smoking isn't a reason for divorce, refusing to consider my feelings about it is. Smoking outside a window that she knows ids open is a problem, smoking in a truck I bought for her and insure and maintain and even keep full of gas for her is after promising me she wouldn't is.
Late meals aren't a problem worthy of divorce, refusing a compromise and promising better attention to the needs of her husband with no change is.
I haven't gotten into problems regarding the raising of our children, maintaining finances, interractions with family, and on and on.
I was pushed to the end when she promised me I would know she was safe when she went to a bachellorette party last weekend. All I wanted was to know what to expect so I wouldn't worry and when she called to tell me that she would call again to let me know what was going on when she knew what was going on but didn't call at all before showing up home 4 hours later I was done. Enough. I wouldn't care if it was 4 hours, I wouldn't care if it was 8 hours. All I cared was that I wouldn't feel like an idiot with no way to plan my time based on her needs. I wanted to have a meal ready, I wanted to be available if she needed a ride, I would have liked to have known I could go do something for myself or just cook for myself or if I was going to have the whole party show up here. I was wide open to any possibility but I wasn't ready to be yanked around and treated like I didn't matter.
A similar thing happened just a week before, things like this have been happening for the entire marriage.
Her special needs are basically everything she needs to live. She has no income, is diabetic, smokes, has arthritis, fibral myalgia and I think maybe osteporosis. She is overweight and becoming increasingly immobile.
I am tired of wasting my breath trying to communicate with her, expecting her to do the very simple things she needs to do to reclaim some trust. She could be the last person on this earth I trusted and she threw it away breaking promises she didn't even have to make.
