I Need Your Opinion On Outing Myself On Facebook.

[Abstract]

he world would be a better place if more people were honest and accepting and if mental health issues weren't stigmatised and one way to that is by people being open and upfront.

I admire a lot of what you say Kas. But sadly I think exposing ourselves can expose us to that discrimination and targeting you speak of. Wonderful if you are willing and able to take that on and fight it for positive change in the world but we have to be prepared and able to take what may come up.

If everyone spoke out about mental health issues then the world would be a better place but the reality is that it can presently cause problems. And, personally, I would not do it lightly on Facebook in a game.That's just me though. How did you tell your family?

 

[Kas_Can_Fly]

As I say my page only has 5 people and it's fairly anonymous, I'm not hiding my PTSD if someone looks for it they'd find out quite easily. My family knew prediagnosis and I told him I thought that was what I had a few days after coming to accept it. But I hit a crisis where I locked my self away (again) and was haunted by more flashbacks than I'd ever had before. The family who knows all live in the same house as me, they couldn't not know I was not OK, and I didn't see why I should lie about what was happening because everything they were thinking was equally as bad if not worse. Then my mum helped me by taking me to the various professionals needed to get a diagnosis and over time, a social worker and now therapy, I don't know what I'd have done without her. My sisters also know and it was all of us who cut ties with my father's side of the family. It's nice to know that however dysfunctional my life has been I'm not alone now.

I don't think I'd have told them over Facebook, but my mum read my flashback diaries at the time so mostly she found out in writing anyway.

 

[Miss cptsd xx]

I have done this, I told family face to face and then made it clear to friends through fb that I have PTSD. It takes a weight off you. I also found a lot of friends seem to understand your struggles a little better when your upfront with them.

I used to hide it as I thought it was a weakness but by putting it out there I've gained strength and learnt it's nothing to be ashamed of. You get people who put you down everyday, yes it's upsetting but they don't know you or what you have been through. I just have a mental clear out every now and then and get rid of the rubbish.

I think we have all been there trying to decide whether we want people knowing, it's a lonely journey anyways but without friends and family to understand it's a lot worse.

 

[RussH]

As mentioned, I am only considering this; I do want to make something clear though, if I do this, it will not be lightly. It will be done with much forthought, and realization that it can have positive, and negative effects. Again, if I decide to do this, and most likely will not, it will be done with absolute seriousness, and it will be done with a definite goal in mind, to make others aware of PTSD.

I do take into account the idea of affecting future employment though. I truly hope I will not have to seek future employment, and that I can retire from where I am at, but it is something to think about

 

[RussH]

@Abstract You asked if they would be offended by disclosing it this way; I don't have a lot of family members on facebook, and I don't think they would be offended. I think my younger brother will ask me about it, and that would open the door to have a conversation with him about it.

He was really too young to know what was going on. I think he was in the second, maybe third grade when it came to a head, so he don't remember much, if any of it.

 

[digger]

It's not that it's facebook (I use facebook for both business and personal and do discuss serious stuff on there as well as having a laugh) that's the issue for me or that you want to tell people, it's that it's a game.

Why not write a 'note' on facebook about your PTSD, or a status? Sorry to keep coming back to it, I'm just really struggling with why you'd want to do it as part of a game when there are so many other ways available to you?

 

[Miss cptsd xx]

I have not encountered any sort of negative effects by putting it on Facebook. I just made sure people close to me were told before putting it on there. There is a fab group which I am on on Facebook called " healing from complex trauma and PTSD" I found the posts on there really helped.

IYour doing well to even still be employed, I can't work as I have to many triggers even though I'd love to. :)

 

[Rumors]

Just my 2 cents worth, but if I were your brother, I wouldn't want to find out something that important about my family on a social networking page. I think once you tell the important people face to face, you can post whatever you would like. In my opinion he could resent you for not letting him in the circle before outing yourself to random people. Just my opinion. I like Facebook, however would never use it as a tool to announce something so intimate. I don't fault you for going that route because one post and everyone knows so you don't have to tell the story over and over, but I do think some people deserve a different respect. If you feel like there may be someone that deserves that face to face contact, don't post it until you do that. If not, then that most definitely is a personal choice!!! Good luck either way!

 

[bell]

As someone who recently "came out" publicly and wrote something about my PTSD (there's link in a post in the Accomplishments forum), it was something that I thought a lot about and then did it. Why? Because not enough people do. And it's nothing to be ashamed of. And as someone who had faced being very much alone with PTSD (before I found places like this forum), I shared because I knew that there were lots of people just as scared and lonely as me out there. I shared for them.

As a result, I was sent many emails by people I didn't know thanking me and disclosing their own PTSD, comments on the post itself, along with messages from several friends who I didn't know had PTSD sharing it with me, when I posted the link on Facebook. I had no idea that so many people that I knew in real life had PTSD! Wow! Totally amazing and therapeutic for me.

However, that comes with its own caveats... I.e., people now know! Yikes! Scary! But... most of my friends/family knew already, so that part was taken care of, thankfully. And, most of them were very supportive from the get go. I also shared because I'm starting to work on a public art project collecting personal statements from people with PTSD and embroidering them... so I was going to go public at some point in time through that. I think that if you think it's the best way to go about it, go for it... realizing that a) everyone may not be supportive, b) some people may be upset you didn't tell them face to face, and c) you're making it public, despite Facebook filters!

And, I think that given the anonymous-ness of this forum, that a lot of people here are going to say, "heck, no!" That's because forums provide us a layer of anonymity if we wish; therefore, I would expect feelings to be quite divided on this issue, as they seem to be from looking at the responses above. Since PTSD is so personal, be sure to take all responses seriously, yet with a grain of salt, too, as you need to do what you think best, @RussH!

 

[Abstract]

Russ, you are thinking it through ahead as that is what you are doing on here. Everyone is unique in how they approach disclosure and all you need to do is figure out what is right for you. We all have different circumstances in our lives too and doing this is your right if you decide to do it.

The only thing I think is important is that you are prepared for all possible consequences and realise what you are doing.

I am what I call pathologically private :speechless: so it wouldn't be possible for me but that doesn't mean its the wrong decision for you.

Like others it isn't the fact that you are deciding to out yourself totally but rather the means you are considering doing it. I am afraid I am struggling to get my head around that. But you know your family and friends better than we do.

 

[JarHed]

I'm not a facebook type of guy. I do think it can be used in many good ways but the bad ones are just as numerous. To me to tell people you know, your family and friends, that you have PTSD that way is like making a flag with that statement on it and waving it from on top of your house. I bit too overt for me.

I'm a Viet Vet. I've had PTSD and was severely wounded there as well. It didn't take much time after returning home before I learned to hide those facts. People didn't want to be around or hire a 'crazy vet'. I think in some ways it hasn't changed much. The only people that really know about me are my wife, psychologist and the PTSD group that I go to.

If you want to tell people, do it in a personal way. Talk to them, it's part of what's gone missing today. I love technology but nothing can pass for being in a room with someone and talking to them. Maybe it's passe or some would say old fashioned, but it's personal and truly interactive. If you fear they may react in a way you may not like than wait till you're able to deal with that. You're always going to have PTSD, your friends and family may not always be around.

JarHed

 

[Abstract]

As someone who recently "came out" publicly and wrote something about my PTSD

I read your article Bell and I have to say I think there is a big difference as it was a serious article and I think would be very helpful when exposing yourself for the first time. Did your family know already? I am glad it went well!