Relationship I Need Your Opinion

[Seeking]

After almost 4 weeks of isolation from my PTSD combat vet, I saw a glimpse of hope Saturday. After I sent him a text he responded with "MISS YOU." I today asked him if we could please talk. My 24 yr old is home doing an internship and last night asked me where my vets been. I just said he's been working a lot. Immediately I had to retreat to my room because my kids seeing me upset is definitely not something I want to happen. It prompted all of these emtions, like a reminder of my vets absence and how I miss him. So today I sent text like please can we talk and I told him what my son had asked and how it broke me down. He responded by saying thar he will get with me and he has been busy working. (In my mind I'm like yeah busy working and avoiding me). Because of our not communicating along with a few challenges that I'm having outside of him, I an now on prozac trying to get help for my anxiety . I've also, since our downtime discovered this site and have received alot of insight on his condition. Would you tell him about my new found wisdom on PTSD and how I have tried gaining knowledge about what he's going through or would you just leave it alone?

 

[Deleted member 541]

I'm sorry that you are on the receiving end of all of this. I have PTSD, and all I can say to you is, after 4 weeks of isolation, it speaks volumes....... I'm sorry, but that's how I see it.

 

[Buttercup]

@Seeking I'm so sorry you're going through this! I would not bring up anything about PTSD over text, nor when he is isolating or in any bad state of mind. Has he admitted to having PTSD or been diagnosed? That's a big consideration as well. My vet has admitted it and does not get treatment. He also does not like to talk about it very much. So it can be a very sensitive topic and one not best had while you're in your current situation.

I know how hard this is on you. Please continue with therapy and taking care of yourself and do whatever you can think of to distract yourself when you want to text him. :hug::hug::hug:

 

[Seeking]

My vet told me about 2 years ago that he has PTSD and yes he goes to the VA for treatment which I don't think is the best. I agree about not bringing it up right now. I just wanted him to know that I've been trying to understand on my own what this is about. As far as She Cat, 4 weeks and speaking volumes and saying what? There are no two people or conditions that ate the same. Every now and then there was a text here and there and always him still saying how he loves and misses me. My question was if I should mention how much I've learned about his condition. I get how he isolates, we've been here before just not this long. But whatever the case, I just hate it too that I'm going through this and I hate that this condition has him forever changed.

 

[Buttercup]

I think talking about it is a good idea when he returns, especially since he is getting treatment and is hopefully learning a lot himself. Maybe you could say you'd like to be there with him to support him in his treatment when you are reconnected and talking about it. It's a delicate subject and must be handled with care! :)

Again, try not to unload your feelings on him right now. He can't handle that, I don't think. You definitely deserve and have the right to tell him how you feel, but I think that will only keep him away longer. I would just let him know you're here for him and support him and keep it light when you text. Short and sweet! My two cents!

 

[Sweetpea76]

I would give him his space now... when and if you guys start seeing each other again, I'd tell him you've been researching PTSD.

I told my vet and he appreciates the effort I make.

 

[TheMinsterman]

I'd confirm the above, my "sufferer" has really appreciated the effort I've put into researching her condition and said "even a bit of understanding is better than none".