I Pray I Will Die In My Sleep. Does Anyone Else?

[Deleted member 29899]

Yes Raven you are correct, success is great revenge. If you can manage to be successful. I agree.

 

[HFA_Cat]

Not so much pray, but put it into the universe that if I were just not to wake up, it would please me greatly. I get right where you're coming from. I'm an energy healer & I communicate with the other side on occasion. Often enough that I've been getting a royal cussing for days over these thoughts. (and I feel impelled to add that the WWII fears are, IMHO and according to what I know, groundless. Main reason I posted, bless that poster's heart. Can't bear anyone to think such horror.) Someone once said that Hell is what we're going through now, living! I'll buy that :)

 

[KristenKristenlove1]

My story is a complicated one. My ptsd started when as a child of only a few months i was abandoned on the side of a road in a basket in south korea. It was considered a norm. There are so many reasons. I suffered from love loss. I was placed in a few foster homes but was rejected later because of too many mouths to feed. I was placed for adoption at the age of 22 months to a couple of italian heritage living in canada. The mother was abusive as all hell get out. Verbally and physically. This will continue for 27 yrs of my life. I would get beaten and have bruises on my legs, and i wished i would die. All the time.
I understand. My ptsd gets triggered by things unknown to me
And i spiral mentally out of control. And its unstoppable, i am uncontrollable, my rages, my indifference, my not caring about anything i say or do. I am aware of my actions and yet i do nothing. I wish there was support group. Regular people dont know how to deal with ptsd issues and being told to just get over it, doesnt cut it. In other words, its considered normal to feel out of sorts due to triggers. I wish i knew about ptsd when i younger so i could have learned how to deal. I only have found peace in the last few years. Maybe 5. My spirals are few and far in between but when it hits. Its terrible.

 

[Truthful_Whispers]

The only thing that gives me purpose and keeps me going are my pets. I have several cats that I rescued, and their needs come before suicide. They are the only living things on this earth who have never betrayed or abandoned me, and they always offer acceptance and unconditional love. If I didn't have them, I would have gave up long ago. I have ptsd, am bipolar, and I am misanthropic. So, animals are very important to me. I recommend owning pets to alleviate some of the pain and loneliness from ptsd.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

Yes. Today is a day that makes me pray I'll die in my sleep. I have been trying really really hard to stay positive. I have a psychology appointment with a new therapist in two weeks, I've been waiting for it on the NHS for over a year. And now. I am scared. I am scared that no one will be able to help me. I have just one friend in my real life. No family. No other friends. No home to call my own. Can't work because of an eating disorder and survived several traumas. I'm 31 and really can't be bothered anymore.

This whole existence is completely pointless. One day in a few years or less, if I'm no better, I know I will end my own life.

Being a human is the most miserable thing ever.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

And lonely. I am unbelievably lonely. I don't know how to make new friends in the condition I am in. They will. Just ridicule me because of my eating disorder.

F*ck you, NHS for leaving me to suffer so long with this disorder just because it's not anorexia or bulimia, I am still suffering.

 

[Adorraj]

I thinking praying not to be born is better. I know it would kill my mom if something happened to me. I get offended when people say suicide is a coward's way out or a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Those that take their lives are not cowards they were exhausted. The burden you carry is exhausting and those dealing with depression can't put it down. Depression is not a temporary problem. Some people live with depressions for the rest of their lives. Depression is not feeling a little sad or over exaggerating on our feelings, if it was it wouldn't be depression. It's 6 am in the morning and I have gotten no sleep. Thankfully today is my day off but still I wanted to write and do homework but today I will try to get sleep. Sleeping in the daytime helps. The daytime is noisy and full of light. The night is too quite and darkness. In the quite my thoughts become loud. I pray that everyone dealing with not only depression but with other mental/emotional illness that they find inner peace. Before I die I hope I can at least help one person.

 

[Purpose_]

All the time. Including this very moment