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I Pray I Will Die In My Sleep. Does Anyone Else?

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but doesn't feel like bringing other parts of their life
(bolding for emphasis)
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many helpful comments Link Removed i feel you I was just minutes away from killing myself today. I prayed to God to forgive me of my sins and begged him not to hold me guilty for what I was about to do. I have tryed in the past and died before was brought back. Now i live in a third world country that could care less and would not help me anyways unless someone paid them to help me. so i made sure i had no money on me and bought the new blade and was just waiting to get somewhere but fate caused a pause in my plan. I guess another day here on earth. I often wish I could get killed by another maybe thats why i moved to this county.
 
Hi @Bookoffee, Thank you for your response. It's okay with me, that you can't remember what you wrote. Just a little hint; If you click on the blue arrow on the quote besides the "Bookoffe said", it will put you directly to that post of that particular thread.

Oh, and nobody said / wrote, that you're intrusive, okay? Hope your days will get better and that your scan shows nothing harmful. :tup:
 
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"I Pray I Will Die In My Sleep. Does Anyone Else?" Nope. I work with elderly and end stage... and realize fully that it is outside my "control". I don't fear, fret or obsess about it. It robs me of my present if I did.
 
Yes actually it IS not wanting to take responsibility for it, anyone can figure that out.
I'd rather family know that I had a heart attack rather than find me hanging. A little more pleasant for the younger members, don't you think? You can think about that one for a while, see if that makes sense. If not, I can explain it to you.
 
Praying for death... a heart attack rather than suicide by hanging robs you of your present... it robs your families as well. No explanation needed. I decided I've been robbed of my "present" long enough. Hope you can make/take the leap too... progress can be made there.
 
All suicidal people are fully aware of that. No explanation of the ramifications of suicide are needed for myself anyways. Maybe others need this explained.
 
I pray this before bed and in the middle of the night. That I would have a heart attack and not survive. Or...

Whenever I would have 4-5 Holocaust nightmares in one night--
and the would continue to ramp-up in this way for months?
I would pray to G-d that this night be my final one.

Most people look forward to sleeping.
Me? I am more exhausted from the process vs. trying
to ride it out and stay awake for 2-3 days before crashing out.

My largest fear? ...Is not dying. Rather, getting stuck in WW2
& the Holocaust after I have passed....for eternity.
WHAT IF...I were to commit suicide & that IS my final destination?

WHAT IF committing suicide does NOT give you the desired
relief that you think you will receive?

After many years...I finally started attending temple/ service again
last year. The first time I went? I met this girl--named Destiny.
It was her first night attending, also.

Turns out, Destiny was in the 11th grade and has been tossed
around from orphanage and foster parents the majority of her life.
She has no idea what it really feels like to be loved.
Destiny walks to service every Friday night.
She walks halfway across the capital city.
One time she showed up in a short-sleeved shirt
wearing a very thin bathrobe...in the dead of winter
(only 10 degrees outside)...Because she wanted to
come praise G-d.

I always give Destiny a ride home after service.
We hang out.

I have come to realize that G-d has a purpose for me.
And that, despite it all--my problems are not as large
as what I imagined them be.

Sometimes--it takes a few steps into the unknown.
However, I do believe that G-d put Destiny in my life
to continue my positive journey in this world.

...Your continued success?
Is the best revenge on those who said you never would
or could..get overt the hump you endure.
 
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