I Realize That I

[Teasel]

Same @Lost in the Woods
Rooting for you

 

[Lost in the Woods]

Thank you. First holiday alone after almost 28 years of marriage. I am trying to do all the right stuff, practice self control and just deal with the tough emotions as they come up.

 

[SeekingAfrica]

I must try to be positive and set goals, and take actions even if I feel like things are crumbling. Or else nothing will change magically.

 

[Survivor3]

I must try to be positive and set goals, and take actions even if I feel like things are crumbling. Or else nothing will change magically.

It's good to set goals and be positive, however its also important to set aside quality time to rest and just be mindfull. Balance!!!

 

[Survivor3]

I realized that I accepted addiction because being trapped was something I was familiar with, it was so normal to feel trapped I didn’t question it.

Are you talking about your own addiction or someone else's?

 

[Rose White]

@Survivor3 my own

 

[SeekingAfrica]

It's good to set goals and be positive, however its also important to set aside quality time to rest and just be mindfull. Balance!!!

You have a point there. My body got me to the same conclusion eventually. Some types of healing can't be forced. You just have to go through it to get to the other side. And then the rest comes.

 

[Survivor3]

You have a point there. My body got me to the same conclusion eventually. Some types of healing can't be forced. You just have to go through it to get to the other side. And then the rest comes.

Yes I agree and I'm not comparing myself to you because I might be wrong, but I used to really push myself to do certain things, thinking it was helping me be productive etc... when infact all I was doing was distracting myself. And it was counterproductive and unhealthy.

 

[SeekingAfrica]

Yes I agree and I'm not comparing myself to you because I might be wrong, but I used to really push myself to do certain things, thinking it was helping me be productive etc... when infact all I was doing was distracting myself. And it was counterproductive and unhealthy.

I tend to push myself in actually productive way- on the outside- but because I'm pushing my feelings down it usually ends up with me eventually blowing up in one way or another. So productive, just not healthy. But today couldn't do that either. I just had to detach from everything and everyone and rest until it felt like I could breathe more freely again(now, honestly).
But yeah, it's hard listening to your body when your mind is full of "should" s.

 

[Lost in the Woods]

I tend to push myself in actually productive way- on the outside- but because I'm pushing my feelings down it usually ends up with me eventually blowing up in one way or another. So productive, just not healthy. But today couldn't do that either. I just had to detach from everything and everyone and rest until it felt like I could breathe more freely again(now, honestly).
But yeah, it's hard listening to your body when your mind is full of "should" s.

I relate to this completely. Once I heard someone say we are human beings not human doings. I distract myself with reading, exercise, etc. but sometimes the emotions are so strong there is no escape. Some times I just have to endure the pain usually staring at the ceiling.

 

[BuildingSelf24]

I discovered today that I've been having flashbacks for as long as I can remember. It explains a lot and makes me realize that a lot of the trauma I won't have memory of because I was so young, under 6. I have no memory of ever feeling safe and secure at home, and it makes me more compassionate towards myself.

 

[SeekingAfrica]

I am not very hopeful right now, but I need to be to find a path forward.