I Realize That I

[The Albatross]

I realize that life is not static, it's fluid and I got to endeavor to learn how to move/grow/change/adapt/adjust perceptions with it.

 

[Lionheart]

I realize that huge changes are occurring in my life and I will go through an adjustment period but, I am totally unafraid of this and am much happier than I have been in decades. :happy:

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I realize that I am able to sit with discomfort instead of avoiding it as has been my habit. I am doing a self challenge to continue to sit with the discomfort in my life each day until I acclimate to doing it as I have avoided discomfort for most of my life.

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

I realize that I just might be done apologizing for things about myself. The people who matter won't want or need me to apologize for myself. And if anyone needs me to apologize for myself then maybe I don't need them. I need people to see me where I'm at and accept me for everything about myself. Why? I try my best to do that for others. This doesn't mean I won't apologize and take responsibility for my actions if I make a mistake. This means do for me what I do for you. Accept me even with my imperfections. I have them and I'm not sorry. I'm not perfect and I probably never will be. And maybe that's ok.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

@BlackbirdSinging well said! If I were you I would print this off and carry it around with you because I think this is a pretty big milestone of awareness in this well spoken realization. So proud of you.:hug:

 

[Whyteferret]

I was thinking that as we as sufferers work through our symptoms it's sometimes really helpful...

I find that I have real problems with trust and vulnerability.

 

[ms spock]

I realise that I am not as bad as my head makes me out to be!

 

[Heather]

I realize that if I am persistent and pro-active....not sure in which order. Changes can be made for the better.

I also realize I need to pick my battles....wisely.

 

[Britt.f7]

I realize two things. One,is that you sometimes have to cut people out of your life that you have loved for a very long time because they are harmful and of character that you don't agree with. My dad is divorcing my stepmother after many years of unhappiness. My brother in law, stepsister, and stepmom are spreading horrible lies. Even lying to the court. My dad is not a perfect man, far from it, but it did not have to be like this. My stepsister actually got mad at her aunt for sympathizing with me when I posted something on facebook about family and lying and having to distance yourself. So much so that she unfriended her. I think she has lost it personally. I hung in there, hoping to keep our relationship intact, after all it has been 45 years, but it is not going to happen. In one way it is a great loss of what once was. However she is not that person, if she ever was. I had to take care of me and my family. I'm sure they think what they are doing is right. However, they are very wrong. Trying to let it all go.

Second thing I realized, is I am coming into a new point in my life. A week or so ago I dropped my son off at his new residence many states away. He is 20 so it was time. I am very happy for him, but there is a light cloud hanging over me for the loss of him. My youngest son will be leaving at the end of August for college in another city. Empty nest syndrome. Plus I just turned 50! I guess I start planning my life with my husband. A lot of changes going on around here.

 

[Ronin]

I realize in all the lies, there's still truth to be found, and can be clung to like a lifeline, until it stops mattering so much.

 

[NatBird]

I'm am a kind, supportive and worthwhile person.

I'm seeing and feeling how much Love and appreciation is available to me and how much fear there is around recieving. I am noticing this a lot in my body.

I am seeing how much I am dependent on some level of fantasy. Discovered yesterday through forum it's called Maladaptive Daydreaming.

I am getting clarity the pattern of severing ties with people I became quite close to, how much this must of hurt them and starting to get a sense of where this originates from. At some point I want to make an amends if/when appropriate.

I am seeing that all the while I have accused others of being 'unavailable' or not wanting to see me - it has been me who has not wanted to see me - either by choosing these people and/or wanting someone else to do what I need to do for me.

Mostly, I realising that I am here in human form which is light and dark, imperfect. I'm not a superhuman, not subhuman, just a human. On the one hand this fills me with such relief - that we all make mistakes etc. and I am welcome to the humanity in the humanity community. On the other hand I also feel the struggle to let go of feeling special by being on the periphery, an outsider, a victim. I sense this is to do with a cellular level fear of belonging, even though I say I want it!

Unsure if I answered this correctly but thanka for starting the thread. Made me think.

 

[Deleted member 19804]

I realize that I project a childlike point of view onto the people I love, where I expect them to be perfect. Which then causes disappointment whenever I actually spend time with them, because they're human, so of course they're not perfect. I realize that I need to stop projecting and start appreciating people for who they really are.
I realize that I probably need to work on myself first, so that I don't depend on other people's "perfection" to begin with.