I Realize That I

[RavenGirl]

Second that! Love you, too! :hug:


I realize that I build a wall when things get too much - and that I...

Oh Anrish, you are so special, Sending love your way too! I'd help you tear down the wall any day. :tup::happy:

 

[The Albatross]

I realize that I am not the whiny bitch my family said I was.

 

[RavenGirl]

I realize that I am not the whiny bitch my family said I was.

I'd like this a thousand times if I could. :tup::):hug:

 

[The Albatross]

Yeah, thanks, I didn't think I'd ever be able to say that.

 

[Heather]

That I'm stronger than I think I am

 

[Anrish]

@RavenGirl : Thank you, the help is really appreciated. :happy::hug:

I realize that I have back up out from the shadows at work - mighty back up. :ninja::mask:

 

[Tinyflame]

Glad for you @Anrish . :hug:

I realize as damaged as I thought I was I'm worse. :meh:

I realize it's very important to me to give people an 'out'. Since maybe it was 'me' that caused abusive situations, because maybe they had no 'out'/ were stuck with my presence, especially if or when under their own stress, or shouldn't have been 'required' to (eg I was a child they were not my parent)? :sorry:

 

[RavenGirl]

@Junebug, You Were Just A Child. They still made the choice to do what they did to you... I'll repeat it one more time, you were just a child. They still made the choice to do what they did to you; THEY MADE THE CHOICE, not you. You were just a child. They were the adults with a choice.

Sending you gentle hugs, self compassion, strength, self forgiveness, and self love. Raven

 

[Tinyflame]

@RavenGirl aw thank you for your words- not just the words themselves but the sentiment, & the way you put them together. :notworthy: Thank you. :hug:

I hesitate to say, because I don't want to lose the kindness above, but what 'niggles' at me is, were they adults if they were 14-18? (10-12 + years older than me?) But, it doesn'rt matter, I can let it go. Provided it doesn't make decisions for me now/ influence my decisions now.

Thank you. :hug:

 

[RavenGirl]

@Junebug, This is only my opinion so take it as that. I believe 14 and 18 are old enough to know right from wrong... Old enough to make choices. Yes, old enough to know better.

 

[Anrish]

I realize that I have the skills for leading - I just don't like to lead with power alone - I prefer trust and respect.

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

I realize that I have a problem with deadlines. I get anxious about them as soon as I know a deadline is there. As the deadline approaches I get even more anxious. I procrastinate and put it off until the very last minute which makes me even more anxious. It doesn't matter how big or small or casual or serious the deadline is. Need to pay a bill by the 5th? I'm paying it online at 11:55pm after freaking out about it for the month. Or I'll race to the bill pay center at 9:05am on the 5th apologizing to everyone there including the receptionist for being late. And the whole time I'm freaking out that the sky is going to fall life will probably be over and beating myself up for doing this yet again.

I realized I knew all month that I'm doing it again. And today I made a mad dash to try to resolve it.

I realize that when I got home I stopped for a minute realized I had addressed the situation today. It's not yet resolved but, I told myself that I won't think about it again until tomorrow because, I did take action today I did accomplish part of the task for the deadline even though I'm at the deadline.

I realize that for most of my adult life every time I've done this I didn't know why. I didn't understand why I would "sabotage myself". And now being diagnosed I realized I wasn't sabotaging myself. And today I wouldn't beat myself up since this is part of one of my diagnoses. I have GAD. And I learn to manage it and do my best. And sometimes that best is doing things in stages and not all at once and today I worked in a stage.