Relationship I Sent Him A Goodbye Email...then He Does Something So Unexpected...

[Teasel]

@Sabrina0712 If you're anything like I was I think you'll pine over this man for a long time, and it will hurt your self esteem. And if he is anything like the fella I was crazed about, he has already lost interest in you.

Maybe pontless but if I could go back, I wish at least I would have thought of doing something good for me while I was pointlessly hoping this moron would come back and make me feel even worse about myself. Promise me nat least you'll thik do you feel better about yourself hnow? or before you ever met him? xxx

 

[shrinkingviolet]

@Sabrina0712 , I am sorry you are hurting and yes, you have made some bad choices in the past but who hasn't? I had a relationship with a man in my early 20s who was a user, played games and was great at manipulating me. It took several times for me to say no more, I deserve better than this. You deserve better than this and so do your kids. As a mother, your example is so important, more than your words. To remain in such a relationship of any kind with this man who has been cruel and manipulative would show your daughter that this is acceptable to you and she my expect the same. Please, please know you are worthy of so much more. Work on you and your kids. Individual and family therapy (helping cope with divorce) would be a huge benefit. I truly wish you the best.

 

[twinkle30]

Sabrina you might want to look up borderline personality disorder. It might give you more perspective. It is possible he has PTSD as well as other mental health issues.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Sabrina,

Nobody here has been mean to you. You post about your issues with this guy repeatedly and we give you the same advice in every thread. Only now you seem to be changing your story, which is a bit confusing.

Bottom line, this isn't a PTSD issue. Yes, the guy has PTSD, but this behavior is not PTSD related. Don't get caught up in the "I'm trying to be a good supporter" thing because this isn't what being a supporter is all about. Being a supporter means that you are there for someone and you support them through their PTSD issues. Its not about supporting someone's bad behavior that is unrelated to PTSD, i.e. a guy who just wants to use you for money and only comes around when he wants to.

You dodged a bullet in him not meeting your kids thus far.

I still advise you to break things off with this guy and focus on yourself and your kids for awhile. At least a year? You need to fully break ties from your ex and experience a certain amount of your own healing before you're truly ready to enter into a relationship.

 

[rightkindofme]

I've heard it said that after a major break up you should be single for AT LEAST 50% of the time you were together. You need to go create a new self by yourself before being partnered is healthy.

There's a fine line between being a supporter and being an enabler.

I've had a hard time ending relationships when I felt I had nothing else to build me up. It is really hard. It takes a kind of self-discipline that I lack. :-\

 

[Wastinglight]

Hi @Sabrina0712. I haven't read many replies to your post as yet, but I imagine most people will say something similar to what I'm about to say.

From what you've written, PTSD or not, this guy is unlikely to start acting like a decent human being any time soon.

Actually, I was reading an article from a relationship blog recently, and your fella reminded me of it:

http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/how-to-spot-an-assclown/

It kinda sounds like he's an 'assclown'. If I were you, I would cease all contact with him, period. And move on. You don't deserve to be treated like this.

 

[Sabrina0712]

Thank you...I know. He is vile...he knows I am at the lowest point in my life n instead of being there for me like a good human being. He is trying to use me. I sent him a final goodbye email...I will be strong for the sake of my kids. I have so much to offer but I take this time to enjoy my life n my kids. Thank you @Wastinglight...I will read that article now. Thank you again.

 

[Wastinglight]

Good for you @Sabrina0712. I too was involved with a narcissistic jerk, for longer than I care to mention. So your guy's behaviour was not at all unexpected. It's just par for the course with people like this. They are toxic. Glad you are looking after yourself and your kids. Like other posters here have said, it sounds like you've dodged a bullet. Take care :-)

 

[Ladyghosthunter]

Dear God young Sabrina!!!

Sounds like my stepson.....sociopathic! All he wants from you is what HE wants, not what you want. When you do something you want to do, he gets pissed.

He can go throw up on the streets. You deserve better and so does your child. Your child does NOT need to see or meet anyone like this. Mom, leave him be and put a restraining order out on him to leave you the heck alone.

Heather

 

[Thea]

Sadly children who have experienced abuse of any kind / come from dysfunctional families are attracted to partners who replicate our parents / carers. We behave with these partners as we did with our parents, we have the same feelings and react in similar ways. This maintains our feelings of worthlessness / low self esteem / feeling it must be our fault though we can't see what we doing wrong. I had a string of relationships like yours. If I met a kind, genuine man I couldn't cope. I had no experience of good, healthy relationships with anyone. I would be waiting for the new man to let me down / reject me etc. and often created a breakup to get the pain of yet more rejection over and done with. Think I'm too old and independent to have a non platonic relationship with a man. Have learnt how to avoid men & women who will only perpetuate old patterns. Learning slowly how to form equal friendships in which I get something from the other person. It's hard, it takes time. If an old bag with a long history of failures like me can do it you can too. We both deserve more but we're the only ones that can change with the support of others which is where fora like this one are so valuable. Kind Regards & Good Luck.

 

[Lisa1981]

I think that it is over and you are better off he sounds like a real piece of work

 

[Truthful_Whispers]

One rule of thumb: never break up with someone through email or text. However, be glad that you are rid of that selfish leech.