I'm In The Middle Of A Super Trigger.

[cdg]

Got some bad news today and I am at the beginning of a trigger. Had a crying spell. Putting the issue in perspective has helped. I feel so helpless in these situations. Of course my brain has to fly off the handle when stressors come up. That sucks. I guess I'm just whining to the choir. I'm amazed at how a stressor that would normally be tough but, manageable to deal with becomes so magnified with this disorder. I spend each day just hoping that the sensitive cup doesn't easily tip over.

 

[cdg]

Just had a crying spell. Things have been getting to me lately. I guess it's been a while since my last episode. I've even had a few stressors that I have been able to work through. I guess the cup has to tip sometimes.

 

[cupfish]

remember your brain is lying to you when you are triggered. I am just like you. It helps me a lot when I realize that the circumstances on the ground -- whatever REAL that is happening in your life -- do not match your current emotional state. Your brain is firing like you're being chased by a tiger, but (most times) LIFE IS REALLY OKAY, all things considered, when we are triggered. It has helped me to separate the internal emotions of terror and anxiety and worry from the real life going on around me. They don't match! Think about this, it is powerful. A lot of PTSD bad brain chemistry can be knocked back when you separate it and put a big fat spotlight onto the brain you are challenged to manage. Of course talk therapy and many other strategies work, I am just saying that a long bad spell like you are in needs to be looked at with a cold, hard eye.....there is no tiger. Period. Build a wall between your authentic self and your triggers, isolate those little bastards and shrink them through therapy, meds, aerobic exercise, and knowing your medicine. Peace, it's very hard.

 

[Tinyflame]

@cupfish what incredible, astute advice.

Dear @cdg I didn't know what to say yesterday :( , but cupfish has.

Strange, I was just gong through paperwork looking for something, & a warranty, & feeling 'freaked' in general + specifics, & I came across all these slips of paper with advice/ wise words I've been told & learned, (I write them down to help make it through). It's like I've lived a different life, that I forgot :wideeyed: , so many memories, & happy times, I forgot entirely, so busy running from the tiger.

 

[cupfish]

Freaking out over nothing. Boy I am an expert on that.
Crying helps though because whatever is inside is really big, and some needs to get out. When I bawl in the shower at least I don't ruin makeup. HA.
You better today?

 

[Tinyflame]

Won't interfere here, I hope @cdg you're doing better too. :hug: . I don't know about cdg but I can't cry.

 

[cdg]

Thanks so much for the replies. Very good advice. I have been pretty much fine until today. My cup tipped hard and I had another long crying spell. Emotions just pop up. I think I'm a classic example of the PTSD cup. I do all of the activities and therapies etc. that cupfish suggested. It's helped get me to this point. I used to be much worse. I post on here every time an episode happens to chronicle, share and to remind myself that it gets better. When others respond, it only makes things easier. I get advice that I have included in my daily routine that's priceless. I can't think everyone enough for that.

The positive thing about this disorder is how it draws us together in support of one another. The level of caring from complete strangers is a shining light that guides me through the darkness.

 

[cdg]

Saw my T today. Went over some of the dreams i've been having and what they might mean etc. I don't know if that's what caused it but by the time I got home I was a bit sad. I was starving and about to eat. Then I felt this sort of twitch on the right side of my brain. It caused a tremor to move through my body. That did it. Caused a crying spell. Been depressed since. That was weird. I felt ok all day. Maybe a little tired but, that's it. This kind of struck out of the blue. Normally I can feel it ramp up before.

 

[cupfish]

I had a mega trigger last week too. Out of nowhere. Sitting on the floor shaking and dissociating. WTF?? This is a chronic disease that is so damned draining.

 

[hangingon]

Try some guided imagery. There are great ones online. Close curtains, lay down, close your eyes while guided imagery plays. Great to change focus and relax. Also make sure you are a filter for what you take in visually, audibly, etc. keep it to positive/light & fluffy or funny in nature. Calm music, delete cetatin people or streams on Facebook that might be toxic, feel good movies, avoid negative news. Create a positive & calm environment for yourself. Still have nervous energy, go for a daily run.

 

[cdg]

Sorry to hear that cupfish. Your right about the drain. It's like our existence is a teeter totter between getting through the day and full blown trigger. Great advice from hanginon.

I just had the cup tip today. It seems to happen right on cue around holidays. Family coming by tomorrow. My ability to hang out with them is limited. Not total isolation but, I can't participate in things they like to do. It's depressing and mentally taxing. So
my emotions ramped up. Got those familiar trimmers and had to cry it out. I'm sick of it.

 

[cdg]

Yep. It only got worse today with family around. My emotions built up to where I couldn't take it and burst into tears. It was a harder cry than yesterday. I've been a bit messed up since then. Maybe I went a little too hard. I hope it decides to lift soon.