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- #13
lostforgottensoul
VIP Member
@Recovery4Me I built my first PC when I was 18 and thats when being hurt online started and in addition to my family, I reached out to 50+ people and each eventually dropped me on the floor, generally being told im too messed up for help.
So by the time i came here I was like a child curled in a corner whom fights off any person trying to help because that child thinks they are going to get hurt...or like an abused animal that bites the one trying to help out of fear.
So in my thread, people hurting me online is refercing the earlier 50+ and I thought if I speak of the 50+ here, it would already give people a bad view, whom couldnt be helped or befriended online by 50+? Then thats someone really messed up. That really did go through my head, many times.
But i still blew it and still so ashamed of how I acted...or reacted back then, and one side gets that I was feeling the need to constantly defend myself due to the 50+ earlier and my family and I dont feel that way anymore; I guess it just makes me sad that I blew the chance to get to know and befriend amazing people due to fear. f*cking fear!
I know you were here then and very much appreciate you befriending me and giving me another chance, when I dont feel I deserve it. Apprieciate doesnt even cover how I feel so thank you! :hug:
Oh and that cake looks amazing!
***Cutting a huge chunk out of it cause I cant wait til the 9th to eat it. Its very yummy :playful: thank you!***
And well thank you for being you! :hug:
So by the time i came here I was like a child curled in a corner whom fights off any person trying to help because that child thinks they are going to get hurt...or like an abused animal that bites the one trying to help out of fear.
So in my thread, people hurting me online is refercing the earlier 50+ and I thought if I speak of the 50+ here, it would already give people a bad view, whom couldnt be helped or befriended online by 50+? Then thats someone really messed up. That really did go through my head, many times.
But i still blew it and still so ashamed of how I acted...or reacted back then, and one side gets that I was feeling the need to constantly defend myself due to the 50+ earlier and my family and I dont feel that way anymore; I guess it just makes me sad that I blew the chance to get to know and befriend amazing people due to fear. f*cking fear!
I know you were here then and very much appreciate you befriending me and giving me another chance, when I dont feel I deserve it. Apprieciate doesnt even cover how I feel so thank you! :hug:
Oh and that cake looks amazing!
***Cutting a huge chunk out of it cause I cant wait til the 9th to eat it. Its very yummy :playful: thank you!***
And well thank you for being you! :hug:
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