General In Need Of A New Stress Reliever...

[Mrs. T]

Looking for stress reduction ideas. I know its different for everyone. For me I go on the internet a lot when I'm stressed. Just figured that out today. I had been spending too much time on Facebook, so I deactivated it, which was a good thing. For some reason, I'm feeling pretty stressed today and I have been on the internet too much. On here, email (work stuff or personal), texting, etc. Kids get annoyed after a while and the things get behind with the house. Those two things equal more stress for me.

I think how I handle stress can be compared to someone eating as a stress reliever. Because their stress reliever only equals more guilt and stress. That's what my internet stress reliever does. When I don't need internet for stress, I couldn't care less about it.

I need some productive options for a stress reliever. But I don't feel like trying anything else right now...because I'm stressed. Ha...how cool is that?

What do you do for relieving stress?

 

[amethist]

Have you thought of this Mrs T, it is something I used to do when I separated from my first husband, and it helped me then.

Do something you want to do for an hour, no more. Then do something you have to do for an hour, could be doing the washing, helping kids with homework, anything like that. Then do something with everyone for an hour or more. Could be taking the kids for a walk, or pushing yourself to bake biscuits with them.

OK so you might think that the baking biscuits is stressful, but let your self go for a bit and get flour everywhere. Then sit them in front of a film while you clean up. When that's done sit and share them.

Once you set yourself goals, it seems to help knowing that some stuff is done and out of the way, ending up with a bit less stress.

Give it a go and see if it makes a difference, you could be surprised.

 

[maddog]

Mrs T.

Just wanted to say thanks for asking this question,and for articulating it so well. I am in a very similar dilemma and am finding it very impossible to break a very negative cycle of stress, followed by obsessive emersion in a couple of very isolating stagnant activities, leading to more stress, leading to more emersion, leading to extreme withdrawn depression... etc.

This is very hard.

Maddog

 

[Toria]

Hello Mrs T, I use the internet as a form of escape from home life if I'm honest. I have friends on a different forum and on Facebook - very few of them (like one or two) know about Husband's PTSD, which is good in one way as it is an escape for me but does cause me more stress in another way as they are all discussing what they did at the weekend, what partners bought them for Valentines Day, what they plan for the future, about their dogs etc and I don't have any of that. It sounds a bit melodramatic, but it's true to me.

I have got it in to my head that this is the year that I'm going to get fit - that is what I am going to do for me and hopefully good physical health will promote better mental health/ less stress.

Amethist's idea sounds a really good one - alternating activities for you and for others. What about something like gardening? It could be in a garden or in pots on a balcony - but it's physical work and outside too so double the benefit.

 

[Eleanor]

Mrs. T, with maddog, thank you for this question! This is a very current issue for me also, having just realized that I am a "stress suppressor" and that I "eat" my stress - not in the form of food, I just bury it quick and deep and it then proceeds to eat ME... alive. SO I am practicing noticing when I have stress - and then doing things: Here is my current list (some aspirational!)
Read (fun sci fi or mystery novels)
Do Yoga
Acupuncture (really really really good)
listen to relaxation/hypnosis tapes
Prune bushes (preferably roses)
Play with dogs
Pet Cat
Take daughter to the park
Do "special play time" with daughter (a thing from her T - where I just watch & narrate or follow her lead in playing without directing or correcting unless there is a safety issue.)
Bath with book
Go to the library/bookstore (just me)
Clean stalls

For me watching TV and reading on the internet are "secondary" stress reducers - they "seem" like they are relaxing - but really they are just distractors. I make an exception for this forum - which meets some other needs.

I have just remembered that I am supposed to, when I feel anxiety, notice what need is not being met. I have a list of needs (from the center for non-violent communication) because I can't ever remember what they are. Hmmmm.

 

[Eleanor]

((((((((maddog))))))))

 

[sisu]

This may sound cheesy :geek: ....but it's a feel good exercise for you and for someone else..and for sure will relieve some stress. You can't be stressed when you feel good. Right?!?

Ok, here goes...
Write thank you notes & mail one each day for a month. Send some to relatives, professional mentors, parents of childhood friends, spiritual leaders, close friends & former teachers - or anyone who was significant for any amount of time in your life. Focus on making the notes significant & meaningful to the person receiving the note by expressing thoughts & feelings you have never said aloud. It's uplifting for those who receiving the note & will help you thoroughly consider what you have to be grateful for in making you the person you are today. :)

 

[Eleanor]

Awesome idea sisu - I made an effort once for a while at work to shoot off a thank you email a day - really just for little stuff - and was AMAZED at how profound an effect just a teensy bit of gratitude in an email could have on a person.

 

[Mrs. T]

I love these suggestions.

Gardening isn't possible outdoors this time of year (in Canada :)). But I do hope I can get into it in the spring. I have a neighbor who has this amazing garden in the summer. Its a little intimidating Hahaha.

I love the suggestion to set time limits. I think I will be doing that to get me out of my internet/stress cycle routine I'm in.

Eleanor, all of the things you do for stress sound really valuable and productive. I hope to adopt some of those.

When I was under an enormous amount of stress at the end of the summer last year, I seemed to have handled it better. Without thinking about why, I did write thank you notes to people. It felt great. Sometimes, I send random notes to ppl I know, just to let them know I'm thinking about them and wondering how the are. I love this suggestion, it will help me do this more often as a conscious stress reliever.

I think I handle stress better when I am under a lot of it. Or maybe just certain kinds of stress. I am always late or just on time for appointments...because I don't like waiting for things to start when I could be home doing something else. However, if I arrive on time and something makes me still wait for a long time, I don't mind.

H and I planned to marry for a while before we did, but when we did get married we gave 3 weeks to plan the wedding. Within 2 months, we found out our son and I could go to Uganda, I got our son immunized, got his passport, planned our wedding (H did a big chunk of this), I got a job in China, our son and I went to Uganda, got married, stayed long enough to get us all visas to China, and we all moved to China (finding out when we got there that we had been moved to a cooler part of the country). That was good pace for me. I have also moved to the UK, last minute. Maybe I'm having this not specifide stress because we are settling down. There are obvious stressors, maybe just not the kind of stress I'm used to? I don't know...

We are talking about moving to Europe in a couple years...the whole idea of planning years in advance, is weird...

 

[Eleanor]

Sometimes "busy" is a very effective way to manage anxiety. It is my mother's and step daughter's method of choice:).

 

[Mrs. T]

For sure. Wish my stress caused me to clean or something! Oh well. It used to cause me to sing. Lost that somewhere in my life. I miss that stress reliever. It allowed me to function stressfree while I sang and relieved my stress at the same time.

 

[jkr8789]

My boyfriend and I are dealing with the effects of his combat PTSD right now... while I'm working through med school. Needless to say I have a lot of stress going on in my life. The only thing that helps me cope is exercise. It really clears my mind and helps me to focus. Specifically, running helps the most. That time outside first thing in the morning does wonders for my mood. If I start to feel myself succumbing to the stress later on in the day, I try to make the time to take a long walk outdoors. Getting outside, moving my body, being alone in my thoughts, doing something solely for myself... those benefits of exercise do wonders for my stress levels.

I hope that you are able to find something that works! Best of luck.