Incredibly Triggered Right Now..

[FindingMyself88]

I am sitting in the corner of my room curled up with laptop, phone, and Bristol. Lights in whole house are off and all but my TV. Earlier on the news there was an announcement of a shooter in an apartment complex that is literally not even 5 minutes from my apartment! Of all nights, my parents are both working. I am shaking and I cannot get the doomed feeling out of my head. I don't know why! Logic says it is good news that they haven't said more on the news, but I can't bring myself to believe it! It is not even that any of my traumas are related.. but I cannot calm down! I am absolutely terrified and I know sleep is not in the equation for tonight :(. I feel really stupid, why is this happening?

 

[Chava]

I hope you're safe. If it feels safe, can you test out turning on one light? Or looking out a window? Or calling a neighbor? Or stepping out into the hallway with your dog just to see that things are okay? I hear that you logically understand this, but any tiny ways you can let your body know this, maybe in a slow process, so you can rest at some point?

Sometimes for me, just the adrenaline rush of news like this creates a bit of panic or paranoia...doesn't matter if it's related to my past traumas or not...my system just has a hard time coming down from high alert sometimes. So whatever you can do to help yourself know you are safe. Maybe even call a family member or friend as a distraction from it for a little bit? I'm not sure what exactly will help you but I hope you are able to rest a little...sorry, that stuff is freaky.

 

[Fadeaway]

Given how close it is, it is understandable. However, you have Bristol there. She would alert you long before someone dangerous had a chance to get too close. Dogs, just know these things. My advice you be to focus on her body language. Does she seem relaxed? If yes, then try and let her relaxed mood reassure you. She will alert you to danger. Let her do the looking out while you pamper yourself. Find something yummy to eat or watch a favorite movie. Put your faith in that amazing dog you have.

 

[rainy_daze]

@FindingMyself88 when you come out of that horrible place, you'll know you're safe and you survived a flaring up of fear. Fear which is so understandable. It isn't really stupid and it's happening because you're panicked and protecting yourself in the way you know how to, IMHO. It's survival instinct multiplied by ten.

I don't know if this will help when you aren't so afraid, but I have had those times when the news affected me in a similar way. There was the man shooting kids in Norway and an attack in England that they broadcast on the news with a man covered in blood, and those are only two of the examples I can think of that made me lose it. I felt frightened, alone and helpless. It wasn't until much later I could see how it was being overwhelmed. I don't even have the words for it. I was nowhere near either crimes, but the panic was terrible.

Having someone with a gun nearby your home is enough to make anyone turn off their lights and hold up for a bit. I hope you managed to find someone to talk to or do some of the things @Chava and @Fadeaway suggested. They are all good suggestions [I'll store them in the brain in case I need them].

A :hug: or healing vibes to you fm88 if you want them. I'm so glad you had your dog, phone and laptop at the ready. Let people know how you're doing. I'm thinking about you.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

I would be scared, too. I am petrified when there is any shooter on the news no matter how far away they are. I hope they catch the shooter and you can feel calmer.

 

[FindingMyself88]

Thank you everyone for the support :hug:. My computer died on me last night and I couldn't even make myself move enough to charge it. I was extremely pathetic. I was hiding in the corner behind my closet door with Bristol. I did watch her closely and she only growled once and that was because some of our downstairs neighbors were being loud. Prior to hearing the news I had already taken my nighttime meds so eventually the meds overcame the fear and I fell asleep curled up in a ball next to Bristol on the floor. I am definitely paying for it this morning with back pain :(. My mom just got home a little bit ago, so I took Bristol out and now we are laying on bed. I am trying to find out if they ever caught the shooter or not.

Normally news doesn't bother me like that, but it was so close! I could literally walk to these other apartments. I couldn't bring myself to call anyone because it was so late, plus I always feel so stupid. I have only ever let very few see me melt down like that..

Thank ya'll again for the support!