Firstly a warm welcome
@Frecklespop to the forum and I send a Devon :hug: if you accept it.
As
@GWhizz quite rightly puts it, it does sound like your basis for recovery needs to start with yourself now. One thing that is all to difficult with suffers is the want to not be selfish especially with loved ones. Unfortunatelly this yearning is all to damaging to the sufferer and after time breaks us down emotionally (differing times in each of us). Self care and making time for yourself is one of the most important fadctors with PTSD, not only for the sufferer but for the supporter just as much.
PTSD is after all the survival of trauma primarily and secondly the added knowledge that when the trauma memory surfaces within us, we then realise very graphically that the trauma we are remembering actually happened, to us. PTSD is not like other anxiety disorders in that it is the realisation of trauma that has already happened, not the fear of a trauma that has not yet happened and in fact may never actually happen.This compounds the emotional response within us and is what overflows in part the inner PTSD cup.
You have come to a great place to seek knowledge regarding your own PTSD survival and at the end of the day IMHO that is exactly what you are now embarking on by coming her.
Remember, that you sat in front of a computer or sat with your mobile and posted this thread earlier today, that serves to prove one unwavering fact. You
have already survived the event or events that have traumatized you, you have taken the concious decision to deal with, it however hard that journey may be, you have sought out others (the forum) who have survived the same and differing traumas in their own lives for advise and help with your recovery journey from now on in.
Basically, you need not doubt your inner ability to survive this because you have already come so far in survival by simply being here after the physical events involved and the already damaging emotions that this event have instilled in you. With the right therapy, grounding techniques and personal coping strategies that you will learn to work towards in a structured manner in recovery, maybe even medication's who knows what is the right mix of tools you will need to better help you from now on.
This all said though. It takes belief in you and your own abilities, learnt and well practiced technique's and coping to get through the next chapter in all of this. No one here will tell you that the early years of recovery are easy, you will have periods of flashbacks, anxiety and much much more to come yet as you learn those skills to better cope day to day with your own condition. It is a good starting point to search the forum and pop across to the vault where numerous members have in fact posted articles in relation to our condition.
My opinion, if I can get through the last 2 years as weak willed and self medicating as I became towards the end, putting myself in a coma for a week I tried to literally saturate my body in alcohol and street drugs. I strongly have the belief that with the right support and methods of coping we can all survive and eventually thrive into a productive and more stable future.
Frecklespop, please believe me when I say what I have posted, you have already survived chapter one, draw on the Inner strength that pulled you through the initial aftermath of the trauma and fight for a future you deserve, one better able to cope with the events of the past and the memories and emotions they have left behind.
All that said please please remember to be gentle with yourself as you continue in recovery as it can get overwelming so often, especially when a new intrusive trauma memory surfaces.
Please feel able to private message me at any time if you need a chat or simply someone on the forum to vent at I really do not mind in the slightest.
Kindest regards and another :hug:
Laurence
