Well said @WillyKat. I'm at the early stages and can intellectually agree, and am very slowly trying to get the rest of me to understand this key point.You mentioned mistakes you've made, and feeling gross and ashamed. We've all been there, where the abusers have programmed us to believe such myths. You'll learn that these "mistakes" were the results of deception and manipulation. You'll learn that the shame is how abusers keep us quiet and afraid.