Sexual Assault Is it normal not to remember fully what happened?

[Tinyflame]

I feel like @I think it is , same for me. So then, combined with other things, I wonder, 'Does it even matter to deal with it? And if so, how? '

 

[SeekingAfrica]

I feel like @I think it is , same for me. So then, combined with other things, I wonder, 'Does it even m...

I know it matters to deal with it if it keeps coming up, results from it, symptoms, nightmares, triggers, issues. And I have seen for myself that such things affect me and I better be proactive and deal on time than wait until it gets really bad and blows up in my face. But that is because I tend to not know how to express some deeper things until they get reaaaally bad,i.e. explode. I know for some people it's not that way. So if it doesn't bother you, you went through, had some bad time and moved on, then great.

There are bad things that happen to me, as with anyone, and heal with time. And then there are THE things, the ones because of which I have issues and coping skills. I think you kind of see in time what needs to be dealt with. As far as how, I think that is very personal, though I can explain some of what I do if you need it...or may be everyone does the same things, to cope, who knows. Sorry if I don't explain things well, my thoughts are all jumbled up today.

 

[Tinyflame]

Oh thank you @SeekingAfrica , but it's not new, as it were, for me, though I had a stretch that was 'better' with maladaptive coping, and a time that was better with progress, possibilty for healing seeming hopeful.

deal with it if it keeps coming up, results from it, symptoms, nightmares, triggers, issues.

This has been decades. My opportunities for a normal life are over.

I tend to not know how to express some deeper things until they get reaaaally bad,i.e. explode.

Yes me too but I implode.

Like figuring out a sentence with only 10 letters. :(

Thank you. :hug:

 

[mkc]

having a really hard time atm with this. i want to forget but also want to remember.
i was violently raped by my bil and no one in my fam believes me. i feel totally crazy at times and honestly want to just give up and say 'oh i made it up' just to make it all go away.

can someone please tell me how to initiate safe boundaries?

 

[Miss_Basilisk]

having a really hard time atm with this. i want to forget but also want to remember.
i was violently raped by my bil and...

Hi there, I'm really so sorry to hear what happened to you. Please know that you're not alone in this and there is a great community on here that is very supportive and helpful. I can relate to you so much on wanting forget and remember at the same time but please try not to deny what happened to you. In the two months after my rape, I tried to act like nothing happened even though I was breaking down and I honestly came so close to ending it all. But I found the rape crisis center in my country and I will never regret going there. I can't imagine what its like to not have your family believe you but finding a professional who can help you and provide you the support you need is so important. I'm not too sure what you mean by initiating safe boundaries but if you provided more details, I'm sure me and other members will be more than happy to help you.

I believe you. Please take care xx

 

[mkc]

i sobbed reading your response. it came out of nowhere, the tears. i couldn't even believe it. just hearing a perfect stranger say 'i believe you' broke me. thank you so much for taking the time to reply.

re: initiating boundaries
because my family doesn't believe me i no longer feel like i know how to operate with them. i do not speak to my sister anymore or any of her children, husband (the perp) etc. but i don't know how to navigate my relationship with my parents. faking it is painful.

 

[Miss_Basilisk]

i sobbed reading your response. it came out of nowhere, the tears. i couldn't even believe it. just hearing a perfect stranger say 'i believe you' broke me. thank you so much for taking the time to reply.

I'm so sorry for the late response. I know, hearing those words come from anyone can be overwhelming. I really know how you feel.

About your family, I am honestly devastated to hear that. No one should have to go through that. Is there any way you'd be able to take time away from your family? I know it could be really painful but being in a constant environment of people saying they don't believe you is only going to hurt you more. If there's any chance of you being away from them for a while and being able to seek professional help, I'd say you should take it. Are there any rape crisis centres near you? They can be incredibly helpful.

If you want, you could make an account here and we can direct message. Take care, I really hope you're doing okay xx